Senseless Violence - The Games I've Played

I skipped over the Bejewled 3 game that I got because . . . because well what's there to say about Bejweled? It's the same thing that it's always been. They might give it a few new twists and turns with fun little variations of the game, but you're always going to be trying to line up gems and make more gems show up. It's a casual game, it's mindless, but a close runner up for how nice and mindless a game can be is the next one on the list - Dynasty Warriors 7

I know, for a fact, that I have written about this game before on this blog. It's some of my earlier posts, so I apologize for the one person who is getting a second dose of Dynasty Warriors 7, but we'll allow it.

This game is one of the few that breaks my rule for series (If it has a number higher than 2 I better play the earlier games to make sure I don't miss anything). The reason why? IT USES THE EXACT SAME STORY FOR EVERY SINGLE ONE.

Now this seems weird, but Dynasty Warriors 3 has most of the same characters, and pretty much the exact same main story line as Dynasty Warriors 7. The reason that I'm not going to play 8 or higher? Because it's nothing new! Seriously, if you ever want to play anything in this series, just pick the one with the highest number that is out on the market, and play that one because you're not going to miss a single thing from any of the other games. Now while this might seem like the worst idea ever with making a game, really do I have to point out Call of Duty and it's story line for the past 20 games that it's popped out?

Dynasty Warriors pretty much breaks down to this - you're in feudal China, and you're trying to make it so that your clan (Wei, Wu, Shu) wins, and you play as a SUPER powered person. We're going to comedic lengths at some points of how over powered you are. Group of 100 warriors just gathered around you and are trying to kill you? I sure hope you don't hit the triangle button and kill them all with one single attack. It's on the level of Power Rangers vs. Puddies. We all know who's going to win those fights.

The story line isn't even something that they wrote themselves, they're stealing directly from a SUPER old Chinese story called Romance of the Three Kingdoms. With that in mind, the story is out the window for keeping people coming back, and this series staying alive.

Game play? Nope, you use three buttons, combos are stupid easy to perform, and as soon as you figure out how to mob together mobs that are so big that the game engine isn't able to actually handle the sprite count of what is behind you, you can kill thousands of mooks and power level without too much worry.

The thing that makes this game so great is senseless violence. If we're talking deaths per-capita, this game is bordering on Dead Rising 2 chainsaw motorcycle level. I mean, I got a trophy (not that far into 100%-ing this game) where I had reached a point that I had killed over 100,000 people. I easily caused the death of over 300,000 pixilated men who were trying to kill me. EASILY.

The best part about the violence? It was on the lowest level of difficulty to cause that violence? The key inputs don't require complex combos, you don't need to hit the timing perfectly, you hardly have to aim, and the strategy is kill things . . . and then keep killing things . . . and keep killing until you run out of stuff to kill. It's SUPER simple, and the graphics (particularly the specials animations) are an added bonus.

Once you get done with the official story line that has been the story line forever, and will continue to always be the story line, you get the opportunity to start leveling up all of the characters, doing unique custom levels, and getting all of the fun post-game stuff that only comes with that game. THIS is where the numbers matter. The post game fun and games for 6 is completely different than 7, but the good part is, is that the game understands what it is, and doesn't try to hide it. It allows you to do some really stupid things, all in the name of senseless violence.

Yeah, you just saw that right.

It has challenging custom levels, levels where they play 'what if' to the accepted cannon and change the results of who fights at what battles, or ask you to try to win a battle that you should loose according to the story line. They come up with custom levels like a beauty contest where a very flamboyant male character kills all of the female characters to prove that he is the most beautiful, only to tick off the big bad of the entire game which you then have to fight because you killed his girlfriend.

 It's ridiculous, it's over the top, the story is old and hasn't been updated for centuries, but it sure does feel good to jump into a giant unit of army men trying to poke you to death with spears and swords and watch their bodies go flying through the air without ever having to think about actually fighting them.

Edit- I can't find for sure where I talked about this game on my own blog. Weird. What's even more weird is that I can't find rants about the next few games on my list, so I'm not too worried about keeping this series going for a while. Yay?