Is there anything we can do for you?

Now, if you're a member of the LDS church (yes, I know that isn't the official name, and yes, I'm perfectly okay with using an abbreviated form of it because this is no where to try to call me out on being politically correct) the phrase "Is there anything that we can help you with?" carries with it a secret meaning. The only time you hear it is when two guys come to your house, they've overstayed their welcome and they don't know how else to get out of there so they're going to ask you that one question, you're going to politely say no, and then you're all going to move on and finish up the awkward deal that you just got yourself into.

Visiting teachers don't use it that often, but holly balls do home teachers and missionaries like to use it all the time. Now the proper answer to this question is, 'no, we're just fine'. That is to say that you've got your life in control, and there's nothing outsanding that you're going to need serious attention from members of the church to assist you with. You might have small things going on, but there's nothing big enough going on that will stop them from getting out of your front door, because they're halfway there and already folding their arms ready for the farewell prayer.

Now, the thing I don't get is that when you o say something that you legitimately need help with, why is it instantly considered a joke?

Okay, so maybe it's not a house that needs to be built or anything super crazy, but I honestly would like to start getting people on a list so that I can show them Dream Analysis. I honestly and truthfully need people to read through it and start telling me what they think so that I can start in on fixing it and ultimately trying to get it published. Is it really that hard to read a book and say what you didn't like about it?

I don't get it. Don't ask questions that you don't want answers to. As a quazi introvert (I like to imagine that I'm not full fledged introverted but we all know that isn't exactly true, just let me have my dream) just remember, don't waste my time with insignificant questions and chatter when you really don't care. If you honestly don't care a single bit about my job and what I do for fun, then don't ask. I find it much more polite and personal if you are honest with yourself and with me to make that realization and just keep your mouth shut. Don't say things just because that's what everyone does, say things that you mean and want to know.

Oh well, I'm off on a rant. TL;DR - Is there anything I can do for you before I close this post? Nope? Great, now who would you like to say the closing prayer?