This is a tricky one when you add it onto the fact of the MAL that I just wrote a while ago about never having 'that moment' with Alicia. Now, although I have never had that instantaneously falling into love with my wife, there is the fact that I know that she's my person. It took some time, it took some trial and errors (mainly on my part) but it's to the point that she's my person.
The really weird part about this is that Alicia even admits that she knows that we're supposed to be together. There are just some times when we fit. We work together, we just click, or whatever it is, that we realize that we are the pieces of the puzzle that fit together. The weird part about this, is that even though she knows this, even though she's said that to me, she occasionally says something along the lines that she really wishes that I would have dated other women, kissed other women, or just in general showed any interest in anyone else so that I could know just how good we have it.
Let's make things clear, now that we're married and together, there's not a chance in the world that she wants me to test the scene, see who is out there, or anything else like that. She only thinks back to where we've been and things get interesting because she gets upset that it was so easy for me to find my person.
There were two very different paths that got us to where we are at right now in our relationship. Alicia dated guys. She had different boyfriends, and she's had boyfriends since she was a teenager. I even set her up with one of my friends and they were boyfriend and girlfriend for a while (he still has drama about the break up, but that's a different story that I think I've already talked about in this series). She dated. She had failed relationships, decent relationships, slightly abusive relationships, even relationships that ended in dead air and apathy towards one another. She has had relationships other than the one that she chose to be with forever, but then there's me.
The first person I kissed - I married.
The first person I said "I love you" to - I married.
The first person I held hands with in a romantic boyfriend/girlfriend sort of way - I married.
My first serious girlfriend, my first girlfriend, my first cuddle, my first spooning, my first make out session, my first everything, has happened with my wife.
I did not date. I hung out with friends, I did things together with people I knew, but dating wasn't exactly in my vocabulary. I never really dated, I didn't like the idea of asking out most of the girls that surrounded me because (especially at BYU singles ward) they were all super crazy/desperate/fake people that I couldn't stand being around for a few minutes, so why would I want to date them? The girls were on such a wedding hunt that I didn't want to deal with them. They wouldn't be real, they wouldn't do anything that I thought was interesting, and they wouldn't put up with me being me. I'm not the typical Mormon guy. I don't want to become a dentist, I don't want to become a lawyer, and I don't want to be the major breadwinner for my family. Sure that'd be nice, but really, I just want to write and enjoy my job. I'm not trying to make for a piratical family, I'm not thinking that my wife should stay at home and raise our six kids, and I don't want in any way to deal with the stupidity that comes out of some girls mouths because it's just stupid drama.
I never wanted to date because there was no one that I wanted to date.
Then things happened, and I got my best friend that I could spend hours with hours with, not having to be fake to be near me and things just sort of fell in place.I didn't want to be with anyone else, because I knew that I could be super nerdy with and around her, and even if she didn't get it, she'd still love me for it. I could do what I wanted, and I'd be her person. I've never thought of going outside of this relationship that I'm in, because I know that I'm with the right one for me. I'm with my person, there's no reason for me to be anything but magnanimous, no matter how annoyed, or frustrated that person makes me, she's still my person.
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