Jul 31, 2015

I Enjoy Being A Boy . . . Sort Of - My American Life

http://www.thisamericanlife.org/radio-archives/episode/99/i-enjoy-being-a-girl-sort-of

This is a tricky one because of my degree. I specialized in my undergraduate (and even in my graduate degree) when given the chance for using a literary lens, I'd go with feminism, but more along the line of gender studies, where I would look for both gender stereotypes and social influence in understanding gender for both men and women. I'm going to try to limit this one down to ramblings and rantings of a male feminist. Yes, we do exist, there are dozens of us!

Feminism isn't limited to just women, guys can do it too. If you want equality between the genders, if you want the freedom to do what you want to do no matter if your genitals are interior or exterior genitals, then you're a feminist. Just because you might fall into this category, it does not make you the crazy 'man hater' feminist. You can still be a feminist and not want to overthrow men, burn your bra, and yell at any man who looks at you like he might like you. You can totally be a feminist and look at not only how Barbies are making girls look at themselves, but also at the GI-Joes, and super heroes that give horrible body image issues to boys as well. But enough about being a feminist, onto enjoying being a boy. . . sort of.

All together, being a boy sort of sucks, but at least we don't have to deal with menstruation or child birth, so at least we have that for going for us. Where women have the politics and strength behind them to do whatever they want, to be the women that they want to be and have people love them for doing it, men don't quite have that same freedom. Where women get scholarships just for their gender, are praised for being in STEM fields, or doing anything that isn't your 1950's understanding of a woman, guys . . . not so much.

We're supposed to be strong. We're supposed to be valiant. We're supposed to do everything that 1950's American men were doing in the 50's. Try being a stay at home dad, it's weird. When a woman enters the work force, she is hailed as a great addition to society. A guy stays with their kid and tries to help raise them, and they are doing nothing more than being lazy and leeching off of the economy. Girls bringing their kid to the pool during the middle of the work day - perfect. They have people to talk to, they can be with one another, and they are there to support each other. A guy shows up and there is not a single other adult with their kid anywhere to be seen.

We're supposed to be the money winners.
We're supposed to be violent.
We're supposed to be noble knights in shining armor.
We're supposed to be organizers and politicians.
We're supposed to be inventors.
We're supposed to be the 'handy man'.
We're supposed to be the community leader.
We're supposed to do so much, and it leaves almost no time to do anything else, even if you hate what is headed in your direction.

Being a guy sucks.

Sure, if you like those roles, and if you like those things, that's great for you, but for those of us that aren't dead lifting bears out of pits that we dug ourselves, re-building our car's engine just for the fun of it, or yelling at the TV screen during football season about a bad call, it sort of sucks because there's no place that really fits us.

The weirdest part about it, is that guys can get away with that "girly" stuff . . . but only if they act more like girls. Gay guys can get away with doing whatever they want. They don't have to be the man's man. This is one of the trickiest parts about everything because I say things like I'm the main cook at my house and I like baking, and it's weird, but as soon as I change my sexual orientation if I was a gay guy who liked to cook and bake there'd be no problem with it at all because apparently liking to cook and bake no matter your gender means that you also have to like guys.

I like being who I am, not having to deal with anything as complicated and icky as the menstruation cycle is a gold star in my mind, but at the same time, it certainly isn't everything it's cracked up to be. 

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