Jan 4, 2016

I Want To Go To Prison . . . Sort Of - My American Life

http://www.thisamericanlife.org/radio-archives/episode/119/lockup

Just hear me out on this one, but I would like to go to prison. There is a catch to this though, I don't want to go to the crazy gang rape, get shived, be careful in the showers prison, I want to go to the crazy swanky white collar prisons.

There's a difference between prisons that have high risk people in it, and those that don't. I'm not planning on killing anyone any time soon (hopefully this semester's students don't change that), but I could be perfectly okay with some insider trading or something like that that means that I did something illegal, but not so illegal that I'm going to jail for the rest of my life. We're talking Martha Stewart level of security, not news at 6, drive by shootings level of security.

Think about it.

Let's assume that I have a year in jail. We could try to sell more than a year, but twelve months is a happy time that I'd be somewhat okay with.

Things that would happen in that twelve months -
- Family would not exist. I know that no one would visit me in jail. I wouldn't have to worry about any of the stupidity that comes from my family.
- I could get some serious reading done. With limited media, just think about how much reading and writing I could get done. It's essentially a twelve month writer's vacation. I don't have to worry about food, I don't have to worry about lodging, I just have all of my day to myself to read (what the library at the jail has, which is typically some good reads because they get classic lit that I need to brush up on) and write. Give me a pencil and a stack of papers and see what I can pop out in a year.
- I don't want to deal with any of the people in a jail. Seriously, lock me up in a small room for an extended period of time and chances are I'm going to keep to myself, not have to deal with anyone, and just have a great vacation as a intorvert. Given, I don't know much about being in jail, but it's one of those crazy things that I imagine would be in jail.

The only down side to that twelve months is that I would have to be with people.

Really, if I could go full fledged hermit mode, and get solitary confinement with still having access to books, paper, and pens, I'd be golden. You could lock me into that room for more than a year and I'd be okay with it.

I think that says more about my personality than it does about my own ideas about prison and jail. The thing that appeals to me most about jail is exactly what other people consider the punishment for being in jail. Most people consider the fact that being in jail means that you're not going to be part of the world, part of the social community, and that's a 'bad' thing. I would love to do that. The thought of being removed from everything for a set period of time and not having to worry about other people, not having to worry about anything else and just having time for myself - I could do that. That's a vacation for me. To me, the idea of spending twelve months with no one but myself, and maybe a journal, is not torture, that is heaven.

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