I got Traitor's Legions today.
I'm trying to do the math of how to run formations and anything else with a normal army, but outside of that there's some really disgusting things that I've been looking at. The thing that I wanted to point out was some of the minimum cost points for these and what it will take on the low end to do some of them. The stupid part about that low end ballpark figure is that some of them the low end is REALLY high, and the high end is even more stupid than that. Let's dive in and see some basic point cost.
Chaos Warband-
Minimum requirement-
1 lord (65), 1 unit of chosen (90), 2 units of Chaos Space Marines (75x2 = 150), 1 unit bikes (70), 1 helbrute (105).
Grand total for minimum = 480 points.
On the maximum end of that, I don't even want to imagine. Max size, without artifacts, you're going to get 1 lord, 1 sorcerer, 3 full units of terminators, 6 full units of chaos space marines, 3 full units of warp talons, and then 3 full units of havocs. That's massive.
Down side to this is that there's not much for alternate options, but what it does give is a constant level of something to play with. No matter who you are, you pick up your starter kit box set and you can throw this thing out. The crazy part is that in theory this thing could even get thrown around in a 3000+ point game. You can potentially apocalypse this formation and ONLY this formation.
Maelstrom of Gore -
Minimum requirement-
1 lord (65), 4 minimum units of berzerkers (105x4).
Grand total for minimum = 485 points.
Maximum size, Kharn, plus 8 full sized units of berzerkers and with a few extra points for upgrades for champions or artifacts on the zerkers, and you're easily running over 2k points.
Not really my flavor of chaos, as I'm not a huge fan of the blood and gore of chaos, but still an impressive spread for points.
The Lost and The Damned
Minimum requirement-
1 dark apostle (105) and 4 units of cultists (50x4 = 200)
Grand total for minimum = 305 points
Maximum size - dark apostle, and then 9 full units of cultists (that's a unit of 35 cultists by the way, if you max out like this, you're fielding 315 cultists) for 1,350 points, plus your apostle for a grand total of 1,455. In THEORY, and only theory, you could max out this beast, and still be under the 1500 point range. The only down side is 315 cultists. I have 100 zombies, and that's a ton, I can't even start to comprehend 315 cultists. The annoying part about it is that if anyone actually managed to ever kill any full unit of that mob (35 wounds of cultists) there's a 50/50 chance (a 4+ on a d6) to have those same 35 wounds back on the table.
That's scary. You can't kill anything, but sooner or later with 315 cultists you're bound to bog up something with blood. Anything in a transport is practically immune to the group of cultists, but anything on foot will sooner or later have to face the wrath of potentially rolling a one against the mob. And don't forget, that's still under 1500 points. The only difficult part of this mob is getting the figures to field it.
Helforged Warpack
Minimum requirement-
1 warpsmith (110), 3 helbrute (105x3 = 315)
Grand total for minimum = 425
Maximum size, things get weird. You've still got the warpsmith, then five defilers (195 points each) for something in the ball park of 1,085 points, which you can still throw upgrades at. Infinite daemonforge for FIVE defilers, and it's scary. Not too big of a swing, but still interesting to consider for what it can do.
Heldrake Terror Pack
Minimum requirement
2 Heldrake (170x2) = 340 points
Maximum double that, 680 points.
FOUR HELDRAKES! And it's legal! Remember once upon a time you thought that it was impossible to not have a heldrake? The scary part about this is that in THEORY, because that's what we're playing with at this point, you could still run a combined arms detachment and have THREE MORE!
That means, you could have a battle forged army of SEVEN heldrakes, for only 1190 points (which is still enough points that you could still throw around a bit of ground units in hopes of keeping everything in the sky flying. SEVEN! Can we just stop for a moment and appreciate the stupidity of SEVEN HELDRAKES in one army. This is such a crazy concept, that I can't even find a picture of more than two of them next to each other.
SEVEN
HELDRAKES!
If I was a power gamer, and masochistic with painting and spending money, this would be a fun one to try and field. This is so trolly that I'm in love with it. People, please, make this happen. Send pictures. Send pictures of the flock, and send pictures of the tears of frustration. Seriously, this is so awesome, that it's on the line of figures that I want to buy or get in my next set of buying things, but only once I paint everything that I currently own (which will be at least in three years with the pace that I'm going, but rules are rules and I'm not buying anything new until what I have is painted).
Cult of Destruction-
Minimum Requirement-
1 Warpsmith (110), 3 units of Mutilators (55x3 = 165)
Minimum total = 275
Maximum requirement
3 warpsmiths, and then 5 units of obliterators
This one clocks in around 1,380 points (but again you could do some damage with upgrades and marks and what not).
If you like mutilators or obliterators (which I own ZERO of, so not really my deal) then this is a good idea for you to have. A chance for the already deadly unit to shoot/attack twice? That's a good thing, and all you really have to do is buy a warpsmith. Small end on this is looking nice, I'm not so sure on the massively large scale end of it.
Fist of the Gods
Minimum Requirement
1 warpsmith (110) and 3 predator (75x3 = 225) for a total of 335 points.
Max size, you're rolling 5 land raiders and hitting around 1,200 points.
Moving on, because tanks are something that I'm still learning and I've got a grand total of none of these so I can't even comprehend what this would take.
Raptor Talon
Minimum Requirements
1 Lord - (65) 3 raptors (95x3 = 285) for a total of 350
Maximum size, you're getting something around 1,600 points of Warp Talons. Impressive point wise, but it didn't really stand out to me. The rules are nice, and they're some pretty solid rules, but we're talking the point spread and how stupid things can get, and this doesn't get stupid enough.
I was going to go through the list and keep going, but I've got things to do other than these low end boring ones that I'm not worried about. The better ones that are actually impressive that I'm stunned by the massiveness of, those are the ones I want to get to.
Side note before I get to the actual stupid ones, there's the Trinity of Blood formation.
THREE Khorne Lords of Skulls - 2,664 points. This goes on the list of 'never will I ever'. Never will I ever make this formation, see this formation, or even think that this formation is a possibility. If you're playing a game where this formation is viable, wow. Just wow.
Now, we're moving onto the Thousand Sons stuff. This is where the point value of things and the spread of it goes a bit stupid. Let's dive into it all -
War Cabal
Minimum requirement
1 sorcerer (60), 1 sorcerer (60), 1 rubric marine (150), 1 unit scarab occult terminators (250)
Minimum total = (520)
Now this is when it goes crazy. Maximum size to this is down right stupid.
Ahriman (230), 3 exalted sorcerer (160x3 = 480), 3 rubrics (495 x3 = 1485), 3 Scarab Occult Terminators (450x 3 = 1350).
Now, there's still points that we can upgrade with and everything like that, but that's ballparking in around 3,545 points. To put reference on this whole deal, we're already running more than the trinity of blood formation above. Given, there's about 19 or 20 psychic levels that are getting used in that massive army, but it's crazy.
The depressing part, is that's only the start.
War Coven
Sorcerer (60), x3 sorcerer (60x3) = 240 points.
Low end, lovely. Bring in four more psychic levels!
High end - you can get 10 exalted sorcerers, and with upgrades, that's 30 dice in the psychic phase. Not to mention you could always run a daemon prince instead of one of those exalted sorcerers. I always thought that it was going to be impossible to throw all of the sorcerer models and daemons on the field at once, but all of these lists have nothing but HQ choices on them. Think about it, before back in combined arms detachment land I was stuck in only playing with two HQ choices. Now I can literally field a DOZEN (yes, a dozen) HQ options, and just call them a formation.
Tzaangor Warherd - yeah, whatever, moving on.
Sekhmet Conclave
Minimum points
sorcerer (60) + 3 units of 1k sons terminators (250 x3) = 810 points
This is where the maximum starts to grow at a stupid rate.
Maximum -
Magnus the Red (650 points) + 9 units of terminators (450*9 = 4050) = 4,700 points, and that's without upgrades.
I warned you that the high end to some of these got really high and into the stupid range of things. That's a lot of points. Compared to some of those lower level deals where you could field the entire thing at maximum point value and still walk away with points to spend in a 1850 point game, this is one of those that is never going to happen.
Ahriman's Exiles
Again we're just throwing HQ sorcerers around. Ahriman + exalted sorcerers, and they're crazy. If you have points to spare, I have places to put them.
Now onto the fun one. The one that inspired this entire deal, because the math behind it is stupid enough that my brain loves just how stupid it can go.
Rehati War Sect
You start out with Magnus (which already is a crazy investment at 650 points)
Then you add in 3-9 exalted sorcerers or daemon princes.
Low end, you add in 3 exalted sorcerers.
High end you can add in up to 9 of a mix of sorcerers and/or daemon princes.
The thing that got me is the very simple math, you can field nine daemon princes. NINE TOTAL DAEMON PRINCES! And let us not forget that with that mob of NINE daemon princes you also have a friendly Magnus just hanging out ready to do whatever he does. A tzeentch daemon, with wings, and three mastery levels is clocking in at 275 points, adding in Magnus, and you've got yourself something stupid in the ball park of 3,125 points.
That's still more than the three lord of skulls running around together. You've got 32 psychic dice in that group alone, who (by the way) would harness warp points on a 3+, have a line of sight to everything on the field, and by the way, if you get all nine of them on the field, all of them get to re-roll 1's when they save. Not to mention all 3,125 points of that would be flying, with at least a 4+ daemon of tzeentch save (5+ daemon, plus the improvement of the mark of Tzeentch), or more likely a 3+ of armor just to watch the chaos.
Let's not forget that there's still the option for even more
daemon princes, so you could (in theory) do a combined arms detachment
and get your two HQ choices of daemon princes, plus an allied detachment
of chaos daemons to get a few more daemon princes on the field. It'd
cost a million points, but it'd actually be battle forged.
Whew, for those that were not paying attention, and for those that want the short version of it - outside of the thousand sons formations, the other ones are cheap and really helpful when trying to create a balanced army. However, for those that are in the Thousand Sons formations - they're glorified excuses to get as many psychic levels on the field as you possibly can. If you ever wanted to run 50 warp charges in a psychic phase - Thousand Sons formations just made that possible. All of their formations are just excuses to get the HQ choices you know and love (sorcerers, exalted sorcerers, and daemon princes) on the field.
Dec 14, 2016
Dec 8, 2016
The man, the myth, the legend
Today we gather together to commemorate the life of a legend. One bottle of paint has passed away today. It is the paint that I have used on every single chaos model I own. Today it based the last model (a rhino) and gave up the ghost. My entire army is based and blue, and this little guy managed to do all of it.
4,000 points of an army, and this bottle did it all. You're going to be missed.
Nov 28, 2016
The Secret Life of Introverts - My American Life
https://www.thisamericanlife.org/radio-archives/episode/141/invisible-worlds
The problem about trying to make something invisible, is that to you, while you're in the middle of it, is totally visible. If you're in the world of radio or whatever else, while you're in it, it is exactly what you know and there's nothing new or exciting to it in any way. The tricky part to deciding about the invisible world I'm part of, is trying to guess of what other people think are invisible that I'm part of. To me, it's just another day at the office, something that I already know, but to everyone else, it's something new and elusive that no one else is part of.
The thing that I think is invisible to most that are outside of the world I'm part of, but they think is invisible, is the weird world of being an introvert. For some reason this seems like some secret world that those outside of it just can't seem to crack. It's a world of mystery and wonder, one where people do weird things for weird reasons, and seem to contradict themselves in the weirdest of ways.
Typically introverts are people that work best in smaller one on one situations. Where others feel power and a sense of belonging in a group, an introvert loves smaller, individualized, or even solo adventures. For example, tonight I was at a party/get together with a few of my old roommates. It was a mess of people and conversations bouncing around all at the same time. The kick to all of this is that I wanted to see my old friends and catch up with them - but I didn't want to do it all at once.
I hated the get together tonight.
The moments I loved from the get together weren't the massive group all talking at once, or even being the center of attention when one of my old roommates asked me a question and everyone else in the room started to listen in to my life about what I was doing with my career. The best moments to me were when I was in a corner talking to one friend, and no one else was listening in and I could say whatever I wanted to him and it was our conversation. All of the other noise that came with the party was just something to suffer through in hopes that I'd be able to find more of those moments of thought.
This only escalates when I'm doing things that I love or that are hobbies. I like my company. I like to be in my mind doing my own thing, which means that I don't play well with others because when I want to escape, I escape with the best company that I know - me. Just look at my hobbies and what I enjoy doing, none of them require another person. Even with the games that I play where it's supposed to be at least a two player thing (warhammer, D&D, even back in the day with MtG) I don't enjoy the actual game, I enjoy everything else around it that I get to do by myself. I enjoy D&D because I get to spend time alone with books and my brain, and occasionally suffer through a campaign game or two so I can spend more time plotting out the next story arc or what else might hook my players in.
Glowsticking - solo adventure.
Swimming - solo time, even though you're in a team, you never have to actual deal with anyone outside of occasionally passing them in the lane.
Tennis - at very most it was one other person on the court with me.
Writing - all me. It's just a glorified story time where I get to make whatever I like.
I enjoy time with myself dealing with what I love, but nothing in the world can make me feel anxious quite like being the center of attention in a social setting.
Tonight was prime time for that. Sitting along side the wall and listening into everyone else, and allowing time to just sit and listen, I sort of enjoyed. I could get all dark and sad saying that I was being overlooked or whatever else, but let's be honest no one can talk to everyone all the time. I enjoyed not having to talk to other people and just be there. The weird part came when I became the center of attention. When eyes were focused on me, I didn't like it. My answers became very short, I didn't talk in any form of sentences that made sense, and I just didn't feel right having people's eyes on me.
I don't like to stand out. I don't like it when eyes are on me. I certainly don't like public praise, and I don't like it when someone throws me under the bus with something like, 'I think Adam has something he'd like to say' in front of everyone.
Even in one on one situations there are times that I don't like it about me. Alicia and I were driving home from Las Vegas and she tried to turn the topic in on me and asked me what I was thinking about and tried her best to help me in writing. She was coming from a good place, but it only got more and more awkward, first because she kept talking about writing as if she was breaking out a secret that I had never thought about, but mainly because it was about me. She was making me sit in the spotlight, and it didn't feel right.
I don't like being the center of attention, I don't like all eyes on me, and I certainly do not like it when people are focused on me. I don't like large group settings, I don't like having a massive group infront or around me, and I hate the idea of small talk.
This is when introverts get crazy hard and people don't understand us because although I'm a total introvert and would live the hermit life if I had that option, I love teaching. I love talking in church. I love standing up and sharing my ideas about something that I'm passionate about.
That's the weird part about introverts. If you're talking to us about the weather, about whatever else is going on, or some weird small talk thing tht we could care less about, we'llchat, we'll play nice, but it's going to be painful for us. However, the moment you're talking about somethign that we enjoy, good luck shutting us up.
This is really confusing, especially to students of introverts. In the class my students see that I'm bouncing around talking about what I love the most, but as soon as I get outside of the classroom I shut down and don't keep to myself. One of my students actually found me in a Walmart once. They said hi to me, I said hi back, and then they had a serious issue because neither of us knew what to say after that. I wasn't going to go into a lesson about grammar in the middle of Walmart, and they weren't going to try to talk about their homework in the middle of Walmart, and we were stuck. They were used to me guiding lessons and discussions, and being the person who makes everyone around them talk more, but outside of the classroom, that's not me.
That's the trick to me, as well as most introverts. We will try to run and hide from you if you're talking about something that we don't care about o are simply not interested in. However, if you talk to us about something that we're passionate about and don't judge us in that passion, we're nuts. If you ever want to make friends with an introvert, talk to them about what they love. Let them show you that soft squishy side of them that they protect at all costs. You'll see a new side to them. A new person will break out of a cold hard shell that they've been practicing for years to build up. Tread carefully when you do break into that realm, because one wrong move and anything that you have been building up with that introvert will be ruined in seconds, and then you're stuck back at building that trust all over again.
The problem about trying to make something invisible, is that to you, while you're in the middle of it, is totally visible. If you're in the world of radio or whatever else, while you're in it, it is exactly what you know and there's nothing new or exciting to it in any way. The tricky part to deciding about the invisible world I'm part of, is trying to guess of what other people think are invisible that I'm part of. To me, it's just another day at the office, something that I already know, but to everyone else, it's something new and elusive that no one else is part of.
The thing that I think is invisible to most that are outside of the world I'm part of, but they think is invisible, is the weird world of being an introvert. For some reason this seems like some secret world that those outside of it just can't seem to crack. It's a world of mystery and wonder, one where people do weird things for weird reasons, and seem to contradict themselves in the weirdest of ways.
Typically introverts are people that work best in smaller one on one situations. Where others feel power and a sense of belonging in a group, an introvert loves smaller, individualized, or even solo adventures. For example, tonight I was at a party/get together with a few of my old roommates. It was a mess of people and conversations bouncing around all at the same time. The kick to all of this is that I wanted to see my old friends and catch up with them - but I didn't want to do it all at once.
I hated the get together tonight.
The moments I loved from the get together weren't the massive group all talking at once, or even being the center of attention when one of my old roommates asked me a question and everyone else in the room started to listen in to my life about what I was doing with my career. The best moments to me were when I was in a corner talking to one friend, and no one else was listening in and I could say whatever I wanted to him and it was our conversation. All of the other noise that came with the party was just something to suffer through in hopes that I'd be able to find more of those moments of thought.
This only escalates when I'm doing things that I love or that are hobbies. I like my company. I like to be in my mind doing my own thing, which means that I don't play well with others because when I want to escape, I escape with the best company that I know - me. Just look at my hobbies and what I enjoy doing, none of them require another person. Even with the games that I play where it's supposed to be at least a two player thing (warhammer, D&D, even back in the day with MtG) I don't enjoy the actual game, I enjoy everything else around it that I get to do by myself. I enjoy D&D because I get to spend time alone with books and my brain, and occasionally suffer through a campaign game or two so I can spend more time plotting out the next story arc or what else might hook my players in.
Glowsticking - solo adventure.
Swimming - solo time, even though you're in a team, you never have to actual deal with anyone outside of occasionally passing them in the lane.
Tennis - at very most it was one other person on the court with me.
Writing - all me. It's just a glorified story time where I get to make whatever I like.
I enjoy time with myself dealing with what I love, but nothing in the world can make me feel anxious quite like being the center of attention in a social setting.
Tonight was prime time for that. Sitting along side the wall and listening into everyone else, and allowing time to just sit and listen, I sort of enjoyed. I could get all dark and sad saying that I was being overlooked or whatever else, but let's be honest no one can talk to everyone all the time. I enjoyed not having to talk to other people and just be there. The weird part came when I became the center of attention. When eyes were focused on me, I didn't like it. My answers became very short, I didn't talk in any form of sentences that made sense, and I just didn't feel right having people's eyes on me.
I don't like to stand out. I don't like it when eyes are on me. I certainly don't like public praise, and I don't like it when someone throws me under the bus with something like, 'I think Adam has something he'd like to say' in front of everyone.
Even in one on one situations there are times that I don't like it about me. Alicia and I were driving home from Las Vegas and she tried to turn the topic in on me and asked me what I was thinking about and tried her best to help me in writing. She was coming from a good place, but it only got more and more awkward, first because she kept talking about writing as if she was breaking out a secret that I had never thought about, but mainly because it was about me. She was making me sit in the spotlight, and it didn't feel right.
I don't like being the center of attention, I don't like all eyes on me, and I certainly do not like it when people are focused on me. I don't like large group settings, I don't like having a massive group infront or around me, and I hate the idea of small talk.
This is when introverts get crazy hard and people don't understand us because although I'm a total introvert and would live the hermit life if I had that option, I love teaching. I love talking in church. I love standing up and sharing my ideas about something that I'm passionate about.
That's the weird part about introverts. If you're talking to us about the weather, about whatever else is going on, or some weird small talk thing tht we could care less about, we'llchat, we'll play nice, but it's going to be painful for us. However, the moment you're talking about somethign that we enjoy, good luck shutting us up.
This is really confusing, especially to students of introverts. In the class my students see that I'm bouncing around talking about what I love the most, but as soon as I get outside of the classroom I shut down and don't keep to myself. One of my students actually found me in a Walmart once. They said hi to me, I said hi back, and then they had a serious issue because neither of us knew what to say after that. I wasn't going to go into a lesson about grammar in the middle of Walmart, and they weren't going to try to talk about their homework in the middle of Walmart, and we were stuck. They were used to me guiding lessons and discussions, and being the person who makes everyone around them talk more, but outside of the classroom, that's not me.
That's the trick to me, as well as most introverts. We will try to run and hide from you if you're talking about something that we don't care about o are simply not interested in. However, if you talk to us about something that we're passionate about and don't judge us in that passion, we're nuts. If you ever want to make friends with an introvert, talk to them about what they love. Let them show you that soft squishy side of them that they protect at all costs. You'll see a new side to them. A new person will break out of a cold hard shell that they've been practicing for years to build up. Tread carefully when you do break into that realm, because one wrong move and anything that you have been building up with that introvert will be ruined in seconds, and then you're stuck back at building that trust all over again.
Nov 20, 2016
Something I've Realized
Google is easy to screw around with. If you know what you're doing, and even try just a little bit, you can get pictures of Warhammer that you have painted to pop up in the top rows of things fairly quickly.
It scares me that I can google my army name (Thousand Sons army) and sure enough, on that list I have a picture. What's even spookier is when I can search for one of my first models painted in my life, and he shows up multiple times (Mannfred Von Carstien Mortarch).
I'm actually going to play around with this a bit after Thanksgiving break. I want to see just how I can play around with this, and I want to show off my army a bit as there's a big release of thousand sons models and information, so it's going to get interesting.
The only thing that I'm going off of on is the simple fact that although there are 'views' on this blog, I don't think I have any faithful readers, so I'm going to do whatever I want with this blog just to have fun and see what stuff I can do. I'm bored, this is my playground, and so I'm going to do it. I'm sorry if there is anyone who does actually show up to read my ramblings.
It scares me that I can google my army name (Thousand Sons army) and sure enough, on that list I have a picture. What's even spookier is when I can search for one of my first models painted in my life, and he shows up multiple times (Mannfred Von Carstien Mortarch).
I'm actually going to play around with this a bit after Thanksgiving break. I want to see just how I can play around with this, and I want to show off my army a bit as there's a big release of thousand sons models and information, so it's going to get interesting.
The only thing that I'm going off of on is the simple fact that although there are 'views' on this blog, I don't think I have any faithful readers, so I'm going to do whatever I want with this blog just to have fun and see what stuff I can do. I'm bored, this is my playground, and so I'm going to do it. I'm sorry if there is anyone who does actually show up to read my ramblings.
Nov 19, 2016
Christmas
I'm impossible to shop for. I know this. So, in honor of keeping things super secret with no one that I know reading this - this is what I want for Christmas, my birthday, or any other reason that you want to buy me stuff.
No restrictions. No limitations. Until further notice, feel free to buy as many of any of these. This is updated, new models, and rules for the army that I play. FINALLY they're getting an update, so yeah, feel free to buy to your heart's content. I'll use them all.
http://www.belloflostsouls.net/2016/11/40k-the-thousand-sons-officially-unveiled.html
and for what the boxes will most likely look like -
http://www.belloflostsouls.net/2016/11/40k-new-thousand-sons-releases-spotted.html
Officially, the big ones that I'm looking at and loving every second are the rubric marines, then the terminators, then the sorcerers, then Ahriman, then possibly the tzaangors, but that's mainly because I know nothing about them. Either way, go ahead, buy away, I'm going to use them no matter how many or what mix you get.
No restrictions. No limitations. Until further notice, feel free to buy as many of any of these. This is updated, new models, and rules for the army that I play. FINALLY they're getting an update, so yeah, feel free to buy to your heart's content. I'll use them all.
http://www.belloflostsouls.net/2016/11/40k-the-thousand-sons-officially-unveiled.html
and for what the boxes will most likely look like -
http://www.belloflostsouls.net/2016/11/40k-new-thousand-sons-releases-spotted.html
Officially, the big ones that I'm looking at and loving every second are the rubric marines, then the terminators, then the sorcerers, then Ahriman, then possibly the tzaangors, but that's mainly because I know nothing about them. Either way, go ahead, buy away, I'm going to use them no matter how many or what mix you get.
Nov 17, 2016
Never Would I Ever - My American Life
https://www.thisamericanlife.org/radio-archives/episode/140/family-business
There is never a chance in the world that I would ever work in a business with anyone from my family; this includes my wife.
Let's start with blood relatives - my parents and sisters. Nope, never would I think it a good idea to put my family int eh same room with me and create a business with them. We don't play well with each other. We don't communicate, we don't share, and we all think that we should be the person in charge and that everyone else has horrible ideas. Just look at our family gatherings. They're always a mess. It's always a great idea to bring all of us together, but in practice, it's a mess of families that have little in common with each other, people that don't talk to each other except for occasional phone calls to each other about birthdays, and generations of people that don't know or deal with each other.
Doing something as easy as playing a board game can't end with good vibes between each other, so there's never a chance in the world that we'd be able to do a for profit business together with each other. The business would go under.
As for my wife, I love her to death, but we wouldn't be able to agree on much with the business setting, and neither of us would be able to leave work at work. No matter which of us was the person in charge, the other person wouldn't be happy with it. No matter how great the choices one of us would make the other one would doubt or second guess them, and we'd totally bring it home with us and talk to them about their choices.
We love each other. We can deal with each other outside of work quite a bit, but we're also both very opinionated, and have very different approaches towards problems. It's part of life. Just because we're married to each other does not mean that we have to agree on everything all of the time, and that's what I love about it. We don't agree on everything, but the things that are important we totally agree on. Unfortunately, business practices is not one of the things that we agree on.
I love my family, but there's never a chance that I'd willingly go into business with them.
There is never a chance in the world that I would ever work in a business with anyone from my family; this includes my wife.
Let's start with blood relatives - my parents and sisters. Nope, never would I think it a good idea to put my family int eh same room with me and create a business with them. We don't play well with each other. We don't communicate, we don't share, and we all think that we should be the person in charge and that everyone else has horrible ideas. Just look at our family gatherings. They're always a mess. It's always a great idea to bring all of us together, but in practice, it's a mess of families that have little in common with each other, people that don't talk to each other except for occasional phone calls to each other about birthdays, and generations of people that don't know or deal with each other.
Doing something as easy as playing a board game can't end with good vibes between each other, so there's never a chance in the world that we'd be able to do a for profit business together with each other. The business would go under.
As for my wife, I love her to death, but we wouldn't be able to agree on much with the business setting, and neither of us would be able to leave work at work. No matter which of us was the person in charge, the other person wouldn't be happy with it. No matter how great the choices one of us would make the other one would doubt or second guess them, and we'd totally bring it home with us and talk to them about their choices.
We love each other. We can deal with each other outside of work quite a bit, but we're also both very opinionated, and have very different approaches towards problems. It's part of life. Just because we're married to each other does not mean that we have to agree on everything all of the time, and that's what I love about it. We don't agree on everything, but the things that are important we totally agree on. Unfortunately, business practices is not one of the things that we agree on.
I love my family, but there's never a chance that I'd willingly go into business with them.
Nov 13, 2016
Be Different - Paint a Solid Color
In case you don't know, I have an Eldar army.
Now before you boo me off the internet and make me feel shame for having the super cheese army, I'm going to try to do what any good high school student caught with a stash of undesirables does - IT'S FOR MY FRIEND!
Seriously, it's not my army. It's an army that I just happen to be holding for my friend Josh. What's even better than that, I made slight conscious ideas while picking up pieces from Ebay, to avoid some of the more cheesy aspects of the army.
But the problem comes when I'm trying to create an army color. I've been looking around on google images, cool mini or not, imgur, and just about any other place I can to see what other armies are looking like, and I've noticed one very interesting thing - no one paints solid, bold, bright, vibrant colors.
The reason that my Thousand Sons army seems so weird is that I have rich, bright, yellows, oranges, and reds without being ashamed of it. It's not muted, it's not covered in 'mud or whatever else that is happening. There's something that makes them stand out, because everything else is dark muted colors.
Think about it just about every single Warhammer 40k game that is ever played is played on a 'ruined city' deal. If it's not a ruined city, it's some sort of dark black/grey/brown mat, that is dark colors on it.
For some odd reason, most people play within that dark color palate. Even when someone paints a yellow army, they never go full bright florescent yellow, they go a muddy mustard yellow, and then throw on even more mud and dirt onto it to hide it from being yellow. There is the occasional Tau army that's white, but even that white blends in as a neutral color against the black and greys that are going on, and you don't really see what's going on. The closest army that does anything that's anywhere close to breaking out of the darkness is Eldar, with their typical yellow or red armies, but even their red army is washed out with browns and blacks over a stark red and never comes through as a bright candy red.
There's one possible chance to save this, and that's with the harlequin army. They're clowns. They're supposed to be bright and over the top. Too bad that they base everything with black and dulled down colors too and have only pin pricks of brightness within their schemes.
The entire game is like this. Nothing is vibrant. Nothing focuses mainly on full, rich, colors, but instead tries to mute everything that they run into. There are no armies that when you look at the expected color schemes of them, that you get something that's going to stand out on a 40k game table. They might look impressive close up, but when you put them next to a large city that's falling apart that little tiny tinge of silver or red isn't enough color pop to really get anyone's attention from anywhere further than a foot away.
Even within space marines, look at all of the different color options you have with this. For a rainbow of color options, you have reds, yellows, blues, white, grey, black, and the occasional dull green. You've got an entire rainbow of color to play around with, and those pretty much get every single one of these, with the exception of the stand alone purple, or dull muted orange.
Chaos isn't much better. Khorne you have the options of blood red, or blood red on everything. If it's not red, you're doing something wrong. Nurgle, make it look like dull vomit green. Tzeentch you have blue and yellow. Slanesh you do get pink, too bad that it's a tertiary accent color and your primary color past that is black on black. Even the non-diety chaos are just as boring. I mean, just think about it, there's an entire legion of the game called the black legion. Guess how easy that one is to paint?
Orks, aren't free from this. You've got either mustard yellow orks, or dull red orks. Sure you've got some dull forest green skin in there, but other than that, you've only got reds, yellows, or greens to look at, and none of them are vibrant colors but rather dull muted ones with the excuse that they're orks so they should look like they just got done being in a mud bath.
Tyranids - same problem. It basically comes down to do you want light bugs that blend into the light stuff, or do you want dark bugs that blend into the dark stuff. You're never catching a vibrant color anywhere near that army. There's a few that have tried to have red armies, but it's the dull muted magenta that you see everywhere else. No chance for these to ever look bright unless you go well outside of tradition.
Tau - welcome to boring mech suits. Default colors? Sand tan and white. It's depressing really, because out of all of the armies that I thought would have a huge following of choices onto them, I thought this would be where it would shine. Just look at all of the big blocks of flat surfaces that these have on them! You don't have to worry about curves, you don't have to do anything crazy, you just have big wide open flat spots to play with, and the best people can come up with for those spots are boring tan/orange or white. Seriously, if it wasn't such a bad idea to do it both gaming as well as my budget, or anything else like that. I'd love to get my hands on a fresh Tau army, and have permission to do whatever I wanted with them. There's a lot of options for chaos and color all over their bodies, and yet no one ever does an entire army with it. If anyone ever wants to bank roll that one, I'm all in. I'll drop whatever I'm working on to work on a Tau army that I'd be proud of calling my own. Vibrant, florescent, glowing, pastel, I don't care, just as long as it was something other than tan orange or white I'd love to give it a shot and I'd be totally open for suggestions too.
Eldar - red, yellow, or blue. Those are your options, and none of them are exactly bright. The yellow is the closest you're going to get because MOST people don't muddy that one down too much, but it's the only exception to the rule and even then, you are still working with a hyper limited palate.
Dark Eldar - DARK eldar, 'nuf said.
I could keep going through the armies, but it's really not going to be worth it. Every single one runs into the same exact problem - limited color options to pick from and dark. If you want to stand out, if you want an army that doesn't look like anyone else, and if you want something that people will pause and take a second look at and notice your hard work in painting - go bold. Paint a solid, vibrant, color as your main color. Stop muting it, stop trying to dull it down, but instead swing for the fences and do a truly unique thing. Just think about all of the colors you can see at a Home Depot or any other paint store. You have thousands of options for colors, so stop using the same boring limited ones.
Now before you boo me off the internet and make me feel shame for having the super cheese army, I'm going to try to do what any good high school student caught with a stash of undesirables does - IT'S FOR MY FRIEND!
Seriously, it's not my army. It's an army that I just happen to be holding for my friend Josh. What's even better than that, I made slight conscious ideas while picking up pieces from Ebay, to avoid some of the more cheesy aspects of the army.
But the problem comes when I'm trying to create an army color. I've been looking around on google images, cool mini or not, imgur, and just about any other place I can to see what other armies are looking like, and I've noticed one very interesting thing - no one paints solid, bold, bright, vibrant colors.
The reason that my Thousand Sons army seems so weird is that I have rich, bright, yellows, oranges, and reds without being ashamed of it. It's not muted, it's not covered in 'mud or whatever else that is happening. There's something that makes them stand out, because everything else is dark muted colors.
Think about it just about every single Warhammer 40k game that is ever played is played on a 'ruined city' deal. If it's not a ruined city, it's some sort of dark black/grey/brown mat, that is dark colors on it.
There's one possible chance to save this, and that's with the harlequin army. They're clowns. They're supposed to be bright and over the top. Too bad that they base everything with black and dulled down colors too and have only pin pricks of brightness within their schemes.
Even within space marines, look at all of the different color options you have with this. For a rainbow of color options, you have reds, yellows, blues, white, grey, black, and the occasional dull green. You've got an entire rainbow of color to play around with, and those pretty much get every single one of these, with the exception of the stand alone purple, or dull muted orange.
Orks, aren't free from this. You've got either mustard yellow orks, or dull red orks. Sure you've got some dull forest green skin in there, but other than that, you've only got reds, yellows, or greens to look at, and none of them are vibrant colors but rather dull muted ones with the excuse that they're orks so they should look like they just got done being in a mud bath.
Tyranids - same problem. It basically comes down to do you want light bugs that blend into the light stuff, or do you want dark bugs that blend into the dark stuff. You're never catching a vibrant color anywhere near that army. There's a few that have tried to have red armies, but it's the dull muted magenta that you see everywhere else. No chance for these to ever look bright unless you go well outside of tradition.
Tau - welcome to boring mech suits. Default colors? Sand tan and white. It's depressing really, because out of all of the armies that I thought would have a huge following of choices onto them, I thought this would be where it would shine. Just look at all of the big blocks of flat surfaces that these have on them! You don't have to worry about curves, you don't have to do anything crazy, you just have big wide open flat spots to play with, and the best people can come up with for those spots are boring tan/orange or white. Seriously, if it wasn't such a bad idea to do it both gaming as well as my budget, or anything else like that. I'd love to get my hands on a fresh Tau army, and have permission to do whatever I wanted with them. There's a lot of options for chaos and color all over their bodies, and yet no one ever does an entire army with it. If anyone ever wants to bank roll that one, I'm all in. I'll drop whatever I'm working on to work on a Tau army that I'd be proud of calling my own. Vibrant, florescent, glowing, pastel, I don't care, just as long as it was something other than tan orange or white I'd love to give it a shot and I'd be totally open for suggestions too.
Dark Eldar - DARK eldar, 'nuf said.
I could keep going through the armies, but it's really not going to be worth it. Every single one runs into the same exact problem - limited color options to pick from and dark. If you want to stand out, if you want an army that doesn't look like anyone else, and if you want something that people will pause and take a second look at and notice your hard work in painting - go bold. Paint a solid, vibrant, color as your main color. Stop muting it, stop trying to dull it down, but instead swing for the fences and do a truly unique thing. Just think about all of the colors you can see at a Home Depot or any other paint store. You have thousands of options for colors, so stop using the same boring limited ones.
Nov 6, 2016
Correspondence Warhammer 40
I was thinking, which is always a bad thing, abs what came to my mind was correspondence chess.
Yes, my brain is that random.
For those people that don't know what this is, once upon a time when people were nice and bored, they would play long distance chess. How they would do this is by working off the grid system and then moving the pieces to the appropriate grid location, one painful step at a time. For chess, this was a long process because quite simply the game could last for hundreds of moves, which means hundreds of letters.
As for my idea, I'm thinking that possibly a distance game of warhammer could be done with email (or even the blog). Take pictures of the table, and then go through the sections of the the game. It might not be every single minor thing, because some things can be clumped together. For example movement can be done in bulk, and even shooting, can be done in smaller groups or bunches depending on the complexity of the fight.
It's just a thought, but with the option of having two armies, and bugging Josh constantly for an army list, I might be able to do this.
Stay tuned, and we'll see what happens.
Oct 15, 2016
No TAL. I'm not doing it - My American Life
http://www.thisamericanlife.org/radio-archives/episode/139/ghosts-of-elections-past
No TAL. Shame on you. You know better than recycling things that you've already produced and I've already written.
You were lazy and didn't create anything new, which means I get to be lazy and not create anything new.
No TAL. Shame on you. You know better than recycling things that you've already produced and I've already written.
You were lazy and didn't create anything new, which means I get to be lazy and not create anything new.
A Real Mormon - My American Life
http://www.thisamericanlife.org/radio-archives/episode/138/the-real-thing
One of the things I've learned while trying to survive here in Utah is that I can't stand a 'real' mormon.
I've been a member of the church my entire life, I've been around people that believe in the religion and exposed to all sorts of thoughts and opinions about that faith from all of them at different times and in different amounts, but if there's one thing that I can't stand, it's the idea that some of these people here have in their minds have of what it takes to be a 'real' mormon.
My religion is supposed to help guide and influence my life. It's supposed to be something that helps me understand my world and make sense of what I'm doing. Religion, no matter what faith or denomination you're sitting with is supposed to give purpose and understanding to what is happening in your life and what is going on around you. Religion is not meant to be consuming. As far as I'm concerned, religion is there to help me to become a better me, not to overtake who I am and what I do every day.
Unfortunately 'real' mormons become enveloped by the culture.
This goes beyond basic things like reading scriptures, or saying prayers, but rather turns into an entire life wide consumption that overwhelms them. They listen only to religious music, they watch only religious shows, they eat, drink, sleep, live everything that is religion. They become fanatics that have no life outside of the church and the doctrine that is there, which means that they have no identity other than religion. When you ask them about hobbies or passions, their only response is church.
I'm sorry, but I'll never be able to do that.
I'm me. I can't be a 'real' mormon. I can't strip out all of the things that I enjoy that are actually fun and not oposing the doctrine of the church, just because it's not Jesus time 24/7. I'm going to listen to the music that I like, because I don't think that it's Satan's music. I'm going to play the games I like, because they're fun even though they're not Jesus themed. I am always going to be me. I can't strip who I am.
The perfect, ideal, socially accepted Mormon is something that I will never be. I like the church, and I know the truth that is inside of it, but I also know me. I am not going to sacrifice everything just to hit an ideal that is only a social construct and is not supported anywhere within the actual doctrine.
One of the things I've learned while trying to survive here in Utah is that I can't stand a 'real' mormon.
I've been a member of the church my entire life, I've been around people that believe in the religion and exposed to all sorts of thoughts and opinions about that faith from all of them at different times and in different amounts, but if there's one thing that I can't stand, it's the idea that some of these people here have in their minds have of what it takes to be a 'real' mormon.
My religion is supposed to help guide and influence my life. It's supposed to be something that helps me understand my world and make sense of what I'm doing. Religion, no matter what faith or denomination you're sitting with is supposed to give purpose and understanding to what is happening in your life and what is going on around you. Religion is not meant to be consuming. As far as I'm concerned, religion is there to help me to become a better me, not to overtake who I am and what I do every day.
Unfortunately 'real' mormons become enveloped by the culture.
This goes beyond basic things like reading scriptures, or saying prayers, but rather turns into an entire life wide consumption that overwhelms them. They listen only to religious music, they watch only religious shows, they eat, drink, sleep, live everything that is religion. They become fanatics that have no life outside of the church and the doctrine that is there, which means that they have no identity other than religion. When you ask them about hobbies or passions, their only response is church.
I'm sorry, but I'll never be able to do that.
I'm me. I can't be a 'real' mormon. I can't strip out all of the things that I enjoy that are actually fun and not oposing the doctrine of the church, just because it's not Jesus time 24/7. I'm going to listen to the music that I like, because I don't think that it's Satan's music. I'm going to play the games I like, because they're fun even though they're not Jesus themed. I am always going to be me. I can't strip who I am.
The perfect, ideal, socially accepted Mormon is something that I will never be. I like the church, and I know the truth that is inside of it, but I also know me. I am not going to sacrifice everything just to hit an ideal that is only a social construct and is not supported anywhere within the actual doctrine.
Oct 13, 2016
Finished - Tzeentch Daemon Prince
Here he is, all finished. Missing basing, but I do that in large chunks and don't have enough ready to base right now, so for now, he's finished!
Oct 4, 2016
Tzeentch Daemon Prince Update
Worked on him a bit tonight, and I've got to say that Hanz is starting to look pretty good. Looking at his face in the picture I realize that I'll have to go in and do some work, give him glowing eyes or something, but for the most part, the color blending is going well, and making him a good, one of a kind, piece.
I think that's what keeps me interested in the painting side of this whole hobby, that I can do it my way, and even if the units are similar to someone else's list, the actual army is all mine and unlike anything else out there.
Sep 26, 2016
Tzeentch Daemon Prince (Hans)
I finally got started on the details of Hans tonight. His loincloth and then his tattoos got the fade treatment to match the rest of the army.
As for why he's named Hans, I happen to have a second deamon sitting to the side ready to destroy some army men. I was talking to Josh a while ago about the dynamic duo of two daemon princess leading my army (and eating up way too many points) when he jokingly said that I should name them Hans and Franz, and so they were named, ready to pump you up.
Either way, it's nice to finally get some detail into Hans. He's been sitting on my desk for far too long with the most basic of paint jobs. Most of him I'm not too afraid of, but his wings are what are frightening. I decided to do the color blend on the veins of his wings. They're thin, and surrounded by the flesh of the wing, so not too forgiving. Then I'm even thinking of throwing in a blue blend on the wings, but it depends on how masochistic I'm feeling when I get there.
Either way, it's nice to be back on the painting bandwagon. I'm thinking I'll post on here fairly often just to keep myself motivated to continue painting.
Sep 25, 2016
Finished - Thousand Sons Helbrute
Here he is finally finished. Only 100 points, but easily one of the more challenging models. Notable fun facts, I had to give it a new face because the person I got it from somehow managed to lose the face even though the model was assembled, so thank you to my endless ghoul heads I have from fantasy for stepping in and being a helbrute. Also, unlike the entire army, this is also my first time trying to guess at what skin tone a monster demon machine taken over by tzeentch would look like. Apparently pale blue is the answer for that one.
Either way, I'm happy I got to finally practice horns thanks to this guy, and also ridiculously happy he didn't have as much armor as you'd guess so there was almost no need to edge highlight.
Now onto the first daemon prince.
Sep 21, 2016
Thousand sons helbrute
I haven't posted a progress picture of what I'm working on lately. Here's my helbrute that's going pretty well, tonight was my first try at horns with the brown to ivory fade, which didn't turn out half bad if you ask me.
Sep 20, 2016
It's Supposed to be Fun
We're going to take a break and have fun for a second, but with very rigid, boring rules. As long as you follow the rigid rules, you too, can have fun.
A person invited me into a D&D group, and we've only done character creation and I already want to shoot myself.
Let's remember, that making a level 5 character, should, in theory, take a grand total of about no time at all. 10,000 gold to spend, you roll a grand total of ten sets of dice (6 4d6 for stats, and 4 HD dice for HP) and you should be done. Buying things should just be letting people run around and get whatever they want, and there's a grand total of three feats that you should have to worry about getting.
That's it.
Nothing too complicated, nothing too mind numbing, and certainly nothing that should last for almost three hours.
Apparently, that's not enough "fun" because I didn't look at EVERYTHING at every single step.
The guy who's our DM thinks it'll be fun to invite our wives to play with us. I love Alicia, but there's not a chance in the world that she'll enjoy D&D. She did it once, when we were younger just because she wanted to hang out and have fun, but she didn't do it because she loves reading through text books of rules that do nothing but tell you about all of the rules you could follow. She does it to interact, laugh, and have fun. His wife, is in the exact same boat. They're not super nerds.
He is treating it like it is the most serious game that he is ever going to play, and instead of keeping things as simple as he can, he's making them more convoluted and complex than he possibly can handle.
Let's start work this out together, just so you can see the stupid that he ran last night trying to bore me to death. Honestly, if last night was my introduction to the game, I would never play.
The first thing you have to do is figure out what race you are. Normally there's only a few options, human, half elf, elf, halfling, gnome, dwarf, and half orc are your only options. When he asked his wife what race she wanted to be, she asked the response of what her options was. Instead of sticking her with those options and giving BRIEF summaries of who they are, he started with fayes, minataurs, pucks, pixies, half celestials, dragons, and pretty much anything else other than what anyone would consider normal. With each introduction of a new race, he would give a full historical background of who they were, what to expect out of both genders within that race, assuming that that race had genders, and the full social complexity that we would never worry about.
The same thing happened with classes. "What class do you want to be?"
"What are my options?"
"Well. . . " cue a montage of a detailed historical background of classes and talking about things that could only happen at maximum level with unlimited gold to spend on items.
And then he decided to build her backwards. "What skills do you want?"
"What does that mean? Just put them in whatever will help me the most."
Cue another montage of detailed descriptions of skill rolls that his wife will never use or see. The amount of useless information was at a new time high.
"What armor do you want?"
You guessed it! Another montage of going through every single armor option that he could find.
This went on through every single element of character creation. Weapon, feats, magical items, known languages, gear, and everything else that you ever wanted to see about dungeons and dragons was brought up in VIVID explicit detail.
He is basically setting things up for the most high of high adventures. In his mind we are living the ultimate extreme fantasy story of all history, and what he doesn't understand is that's not what his players want.
To put it into gamer terms, he's running a AAA game with a minimum of 40 mods on it, plus a full DLC patch, on the most updated top tier over clocked gaming system . . . and the rest of the people that he's playing with just want to open up Microsoft Hearts and play a few rounds, and any time that we're not on board with his view of how D&D should be played, he's not having it.
This lead me to setting up everything that I could, in my best way possible, to screw up his plan. If there's anything that a DM like him loves, it's character based rich background motivation. My character is a nomad that worships the diety of travel. My wife's character is a druid who also worships travel and seeing new parts of nature. Neither of us have a connection to any part of the story line that he's going to throw at us, and I will walk away from his forced story line in a heart beat because I want to show him that D&D is supposed to be player driven, not DM driven. Players want to have fun, relax, and enjoy a good time together. They do not want to be told about the stupidity that is trying to sort out whatever it was that he was doing.
A person invited me into a D&D group, and we've only done character creation and I already want to shoot myself.
Let's remember, that making a level 5 character, should, in theory, take a grand total of about no time at all. 10,000 gold to spend, you roll a grand total of ten sets of dice (6 4d6 for stats, and 4 HD dice for HP) and you should be done. Buying things should just be letting people run around and get whatever they want, and there's a grand total of three feats that you should have to worry about getting.
That's it.
Nothing too complicated, nothing too mind numbing, and certainly nothing that should last for almost three hours.
Apparently, that's not enough "fun" because I didn't look at EVERYTHING at every single step.
The guy who's our DM thinks it'll be fun to invite our wives to play with us. I love Alicia, but there's not a chance in the world that she'll enjoy D&D. She did it once, when we were younger just because she wanted to hang out and have fun, but she didn't do it because she loves reading through text books of rules that do nothing but tell you about all of the rules you could follow. She does it to interact, laugh, and have fun. His wife, is in the exact same boat. They're not super nerds.
He is treating it like it is the most serious game that he is ever going to play, and instead of keeping things as simple as he can, he's making them more convoluted and complex than he possibly can handle.
Let's start work this out together, just so you can see the stupid that he ran last night trying to bore me to death. Honestly, if last night was my introduction to the game, I would never play.
The first thing you have to do is figure out what race you are. Normally there's only a few options, human, half elf, elf, halfling, gnome, dwarf, and half orc are your only options. When he asked his wife what race she wanted to be, she asked the response of what her options was. Instead of sticking her with those options and giving BRIEF summaries of who they are, he started with fayes, minataurs, pucks, pixies, half celestials, dragons, and pretty much anything else other than what anyone would consider normal. With each introduction of a new race, he would give a full historical background of who they were, what to expect out of both genders within that race, assuming that that race had genders, and the full social complexity that we would never worry about.
The same thing happened with classes. "What class do you want to be?"
"What are my options?"
"Well. . . " cue a montage of a detailed historical background of classes and talking about things that could only happen at maximum level with unlimited gold to spend on items.
And then he decided to build her backwards. "What skills do you want?"
"What does that mean? Just put them in whatever will help me the most."
Cue another montage of detailed descriptions of skill rolls that his wife will never use or see. The amount of useless information was at a new time high.
"What armor do you want?"
You guessed it! Another montage of going through every single armor option that he could find.
This went on through every single element of character creation. Weapon, feats, magical items, known languages, gear, and everything else that you ever wanted to see about dungeons and dragons was brought up in VIVID explicit detail.
He is basically setting things up for the most high of high adventures. In his mind we are living the ultimate extreme fantasy story of all history, and what he doesn't understand is that's not what his players want.
To put it into gamer terms, he's running a AAA game with a minimum of 40 mods on it, plus a full DLC patch, on the most updated top tier over clocked gaming system . . . and the rest of the people that he's playing with just want to open up Microsoft Hearts and play a few rounds, and any time that we're not on board with his view of how D&D should be played, he's not having it.
This lead me to setting up everything that I could, in my best way possible, to screw up his plan. If there's anything that a DM like him loves, it's character based rich background motivation. My character is a nomad that worships the diety of travel. My wife's character is a druid who also worships travel and seeing new parts of nature. Neither of us have a connection to any part of the story line that he's going to throw at us, and I will walk away from his forced story line in a heart beat because I want to show him that D&D is supposed to be player driven, not DM driven. Players want to have fun, relax, and enjoy a good time together. They do not want to be told about the stupidity that is trying to sort out whatever it was that he was doing.
Sep 14, 2016
One Piece At A Time - Warhammer
I've been overwhelmed with things right now when it comes to the hobby. Instead of dealing with one thing at a time, I let myself start to see the big picture, and that's dangerous.
As you know, maybe, I got my army off ebay which means that I got a lot of assembled things, and only painted things as I needed them for the escalation league. I got my primary army, and instead of stopping there I realized that I had more figures to paint, and so I just dove in and started to paint. The only problem with that is that before I was painting with a purpose. I painted my terminators because I needed a terminator force. I painted my thousand sons because I wanted thousand sons. I did everything because I wanted to have it as part of my army.
Now I have figures, and they need to be painted, but I'm not painting with any purpose, so I'm just looking at this stack of figures and having no desire to ever paint them because I don't know if or how they'll even fit into the bigger picture of the army.
Today, instead of focusing on the mob of everything (1 hell brute, 23 CSM marines, 10 thousand sons, 2 daemon princes, 3 rhinos, some chosen, another terminator lord, and a few possessed) I stopped worrying about all of them and put all of my attention onto the hellbrute, and only focused on that.
In one day I've done more work on that hellbrute than I have in the months that it's been sitting on my desk staring at me. Instead of trying to understand it in the big picutre, the only way I've gotten any damage done on the figure is going piece by piece.
Take that for what you will.
As you know, maybe, I got my army off ebay which means that I got a lot of assembled things, and only painted things as I needed them for the escalation league. I got my primary army, and instead of stopping there I realized that I had more figures to paint, and so I just dove in and started to paint. The only problem with that is that before I was painting with a purpose. I painted my terminators because I needed a terminator force. I painted my thousand sons because I wanted thousand sons. I did everything because I wanted to have it as part of my army.
Now I have figures, and they need to be painted, but I'm not painting with any purpose, so I'm just looking at this stack of figures and having no desire to ever paint them because I don't know if or how they'll even fit into the bigger picture of the army.
Today, instead of focusing on the mob of everything (1 hell brute, 23 CSM marines, 10 thousand sons, 2 daemon princes, 3 rhinos, some chosen, another terminator lord, and a few possessed) I stopped worrying about all of them and put all of my attention onto the hellbrute, and only focused on that.
In one day I've done more work on that hellbrute than I have in the months that it's been sitting on my desk staring at me. Instead of trying to understand it in the big picutre, the only way I've gotten any damage done on the figure is going piece by piece.
Take that for what you will.
Sep 12, 2016
Dragon Sleeping - My American Life
http://www.thisamericanlife.org/radio-archives/episode/137/the-book-that-changed-your-life
I knew that I liked writing, and I knew that I liked books for a long time, but I didn't know what I should do with them or if I was actually any good with it until about 8th grade. In 8th grade I got sick. Sick enough that my mom got in touch with my teachers and asked for homework for me to do while I was healing up.
For my English class I was given a book report that I had to write on a book of my choice. The only catch was that at the end of the report I was expected to do one of a few projects. The only problem was that when I read it, I skimmed things, or it was just poorly worded and instead of doing only one of the assignments, I did all of them. I wrote an interview with one of the characters, I wrote a chapter to the book from a different character's point of view, I even re-wrote the ending of the entire novel, and I did it because I was sick, and because I enjoyed it.
The book in question? Dragon Sleeping by Craig Shaw Gardner.
https://www.amazon.com/Dragon-Sleeping-Circle-Trilogy-Book-ebook/dp/B019UV7EE4#nav-subnav
That's the book that changed my life. That's the book that made me start to really like literature because it was a story that I understood, it was a story type that made me interested in what was going on, and it made me realize that reading could do a bit more than just spout out information at a teacher and get a grade on it.
The book itself is about a group of people from a suburb community and how they get sucked into a high fantasy setting with wizards and of course dragons. They get sucked into the world of magic and mystical creatures, and they look at everything like they're still part of their suburban world, and I loved it. I say that I write urban fantasy, and this book is the prime example that I give people when they ask what urban fantasy is. It's a perfect mix of things that are supernatural and weird, and yet perfectly average for the rest of us. It's suburban life and parents worrying about their kids, while their kids run around and get in trouble with elemental forces and magic, and I loved it.
This was the book that took all of my fantasies about day to day life, and how it was just a bit different than normal, and gave it a place to run around. My day dreams, my stories that I really want to write are always about the real world, but with just a hint of the crazy in there. I never want to write a 'typical' story, I always have to add in something different, I have to add in a different way to see the world because that's how I see it. I can't see a typical setting, I have to see something that's atypical, and this is the book that let me see it that way.
This is the book that put me into the world of literature and writing. This is the type of book that I want to write. Maybe not this exact style, and maybe with my own quirks and flavors on it, but this is the book that showed me that I can write my stories and maybe, just possibly, someone will read it.
I knew that I liked writing, and I knew that I liked books for a long time, but I didn't know what I should do with them or if I was actually any good with it until about 8th grade. In 8th grade I got sick. Sick enough that my mom got in touch with my teachers and asked for homework for me to do while I was healing up.
For my English class I was given a book report that I had to write on a book of my choice. The only catch was that at the end of the report I was expected to do one of a few projects. The only problem was that when I read it, I skimmed things, or it was just poorly worded and instead of doing only one of the assignments, I did all of them. I wrote an interview with one of the characters, I wrote a chapter to the book from a different character's point of view, I even re-wrote the ending of the entire novel, and I did it because I was sick, and because I enjoyed it.
The book in question? Dragon Sleeping by Craig Shaw Gardner.
https://www.amazon.com/Dragon-Sleeping-Circle-Trilogy-Book-ebook/dp/B019UV7EE4#nav-subnav
That's the book that changed my life. That's the book that made me start to really like literature because it was a story that I understood, it was a story type that made me interested in what was going on, and it made me realize that reading could do a bit more than just spout out information at a teacher and get a grade on it.
The book itself is about a group of people from a suburb community and how they get sucked into a high fantasy setting with wizards and of course dragons. They get sucked into the world of magic and mystical creatures, and they look at everything like they're still part of their suburban world, and I loved it. I say that I write urban fantasy, and this book is the prime example that I give people when they ask what urban fantasy is. It's a perfect mix of things that are supernatural and weird, and yet perfectly average for the rest of us. It's suburban life and parents worrying about their kids, while their kids run around and get in trouble with elemental forces and magic, and I loved it.
This was the book that took all of my fantasies about day to day life, and how it was just a bit different than normal, and gave it a place to run around. My day dreams, my stories that I really want to write are always about the real world, but with just a hint of the crazy in there. I never want to write a 'typical' story, I always have to add in something different, I have to add in a different way to see the world because that's how I see it. I can't see a typical setting, I have to see something that's atypical, and this is the book that let me see it that way.
This is the book that put me into the world of literature and writing. This is the type of book that I want to write. Maybe not this exact style, and maybe with my own quirks and flavors on it, but this is the book that showed me that I can write my stories and maybe, just possibly, someone will read it.
Sep 4, 2016
Get Lost - My American Life
http://www.thisamericanlife.org/radio-archives/episode/136/you-are-here
I knew who I was, where I was, and what was going on in my life more in a different country dealing with complete strangers in a language that I hardly knew, than I do as an adult.
My time in Sweden was filled with a lot of times getting lost. This had a healthy amount of it dealing with the fact that my president, the guy in charge of telling us where to go and what to do, was known under the nickname of "Wildcard Karlsson" because he would do the most backwards, off the charts, weird things when moving missionaries around. His calling card move was the double transfer. This is when he would take two missionaries that had gotten to know an area, had worked with the people there, gotten to gain the trust of the investigators, members, and potentially the town drunks, and then rip them away and plop two new missionaries in the exact same area.
This happened often enough that I became used to the fact that the first time in any area was a guessing game from both me and my companion of where we were supposed to go, who we were supposed to meet with, and we were going to be lucky if we made it home anywhere close in time to get dinner in our stomachs.I got lost on my way to my own apartment so many times, simply because the area was new for both me and the guy I was with, and we got lost. We'd get turned around, sit on the wrong bus, not know the schedule for the buses on holidays and how they were different than normal days, and the list goes on.
Even though I got turned around, lost, and was living in a different world that wanted nothing to do with me, I didn't feel lost.
I think a large part of that not feeling lost even though I was physically lost, was the fact that there were rules. There were such strict rules and regulations for us as missionaries that I could be put in the weirdest situation ever and I knew exactly what I was supposed to do. If WWIII broke out and I had to abandon Sweden, I knew the exact rules of which train I should get on, which chapel to meet at, and where to go. I knew what I should do if my companion ever got lost without me. I knew what I should do if I got mugged. I knew what I should do, when I should do it, and how I should do it. I had rules about everything and in that light, I got to understand why people join the army.
I always hated the idea of the armed forces. In a way, I still hate it a bit.
I don't know what it is, but taking away people's individuality and 'breaking' them into something that you want and essentially taking away their idea to rationally process or answer anything for themselves is really scary for me. There is no room for questioning, it is only sir, yes sir. Say what you will about Hollywood actors that can ask for the permission to speak freely, in war you don't get to play that game. You have orders and you follow them, simply because some guy told you to do it. There are rules and you have to follow them or you, and the people around you die.
I used to wonder why anyone would ever want to have that life; why anyone would want to give up their ability to think, question, and understand the world. I never understood it, but the brief glimse I got of it in Sweden, it makes sense. Places like that are comfortable. You don't have to ask questions. You don't have to think about where you are, what you're doing, or the difficulties of anything else. Your job is one job, and it is hammered into your head. There's no need to worry about your future, your life outside that job, or anything else. That one calling is yours, and that's comfortable because your world isn't big and scary. You have time settings to everything. Even in the worst days of combat (or on your mission) you can look at your deployment papers and hopefully see an end date, where you can say by THIS date, I'm done. It's just one day at a time and I can make it to that date.
You can drag me through the mud, spit at me, slam doors in my face, laugh at me, humiliate me, make me the most depressed I've been in my entire life, and make me feel like a failure, but I can get through it because I know that there's an end. I know that I can make it through just one more day. You can get shot at, blown up, cut up, torn up, and see the most horific things in the world, but hopefully there is that end date, where you know that at that date, you're coming home and you won't have to deal with it any more. You can do anything for just one more day when you know there's an end.
Those things don't exist in the real world.
There's no structure to real life, and that's where it gets scary. Instead of having a person moving you around, telling you where to be, how to live, and how long to live it, you get nothing. You're left with yourself, and that's scary. When you leave a structured place, be it school, family, military, mission, or whatever else, and you're left out for yourself, there's infinite possibilities, and no longer are there rules for everything because those rules don't apply any more. You can stay out as late as you want, wear whatever you want, do whatever you want, and see whatever you want, and there's no one telling you that you can't. There's nothing there to give you structure, other than yourself, and that's scary.
Trusting yourself is when you get lost, because there's doubt. You're only lost when you doubt yourself, or the structure that got you where you're at. I could be in the middle of Sweden in a town I couldn't pronounce with no idea of how to get home, but I didn't feel lost because I knew what got me there. Military members can be in the middle of a warzone in a teritory that no one has ever really mapped because no one lives there, and they're not lost because they know what got them there. But, if I got lost in the middle of Sweden now, in that same town with those same circumstances I would feel lost because I would doubt myself. How in the world did I get myself there? How am I going to get myself out? Before I trusted in the person and people involved with getting me into that circumstance that I knew they'd get me out, now I'm the only one left.
Now when I get myself lost, I'm the one that has to solve it. I don't have someone to lean up against. When I'm lost with my career and have no clue what to do, there's no rules that I can follow to get an easy out, I have to figure it out on my own and I have no clue what to do so that's really hard to do. When I get lost with how to have a happy marriage, I feel lost because there's no structure. There's no solution. There's no path that I can follow because there's no one that has set up a set of rules for me that I can just follow and know that it works.
I get why people stay in the military as long as possible. I even understand those people that want to relive their missionary, high school, or even college days, because those were the days where they felt in control. Those were the days that they didn't have to worry and felt like they knew what was going on in their life. They weren't lost.
You can't get lost when you don't have to be in charge of everything, and that's why you should get lost.
Go get lost. Get in a situation where no one can help you out of it. Go figure it out on yourself. You got yourself out in the middle of a forest in the middle of the night, now you have to figure out how to get back home. Go get yourself into a scary career, a major relationship, a life that you're not certain of, because that's when you have to grow. When you get lost, you come up with crazy solutions and get creative. When you get lost you push yourself to become better and find a way to make things work. When you get lost you come together with the people that you're lost with, and you create something better.
Feeling like you have no clue what you're doing, that you have no guide in front of you, and no one to help you doesn't make you lost, it makes you a trailblazer, an adventurer, or even a pioneer. That feeling where you're overcome with fear because everything is riding on you to come up with a solution and you're still stumbling around in the dark trying to understand which way is up is a frightening feeling, but it's in those moments that you can really do something great.
I get it. Avoiding feeling lost is a nice feeling. It's comfortable. It makes it so you have stability and never question yourself, but it's not worth it.
I knew who I was, where I was, and what was going on in my life more in a different country dealing with complete strangers in a language that I hardly knew, than I do as an adult.
My time in Sweden was filled with a lot of times getting lost. This had a healthy amount of it dealing with the fact that my president, the guy in charge of telling us where to go and what to do, was known under the nickname of "Wildcard Karlsson" because he would do the most backwards, off the charts, weird things when moving missionaries around. His calling card move was the double transfer. This is when he would take two missionaries that had gotten to know an area, had worked with the people there, gotten to gain the trust of the investigators, members, and potentially the town drunks, and then rip them away and plop two new missionaries in the exact same area.
This happened often enough that I became used to the fact that the first time in any area was a guessing game from both me and my companion of where we were supposed to go, who we were supposed to meet with, and we were going to be lucky if we made it home anywhere close in time to get dinner in our stomachs.I got lost on my way to my own apartment so many times, simply because the area was new for both me and the guy I was with, and we got lost. We'd get turned around, sit on the wrong bus, not know the schedule for the buses on holidays and how they were different than normal days, and the list goes on.
Even though I got turned around, lost, and was living in a different world that wanted nothing to do with me, I didn't feel lost.
I think a large part of that not feeling lost even though I was physically lost, was the fact that there were rules. There were such strict rules and regulations for us as missionaries that I could be put in the weirdest situation ever and I knew exactly what I was supposed to do. If WWIII broke out and I had to abandon Sweden, I knew the exact rules of which train I should get on, which chapel to meet at, and where to go. I knew what I should do if my companion ever got lost without me. I knew what I should do if I got mugged. I knew what I should do, when I should do it, and how I should do it. I had rules about everything and in that light, I got to understand why people join the army.
I always hated the idea of the armed forces. In a way, I still hate it a bit.
I don't know what it is, but taking away people's individuality and 'breaking' them into something that you want and essentially taking away their idea to rationally process or answer anything for themselves is really scary for me. There is no room for questioning, it is only sir, yes sir. Say what you will about Hollywood actors that can ask for the permission to speak freely, in war you don't get to play that game. You have orders and you follow them, simply because some guy told you to do it. There are rules and you have to follow them or you, and the people around you die.
I used to wonder why anyone would ever want to have that life; why anyone would want to give up their ability to think, question, and understand the world. I never understood it, but the brief glimse I got of it in Sweden, it makes sense. Places like that are comfortable. You don't have to ask questions. You don't have to think about where you are, what you're doing, or the difficulties of anything else. Your job is one job, and it is hammered into your head. There's no need to worry about your future, your life outside that job, or anything else. That one calling is yours, and that's comfortable because your world isn't big and scary. You have time settings to everything. Even in the worst days of combat (or on your mission) you can look at your deployment papers and hopefully see an end date, where you can say by THIS date, I'm done. It's just one day at a time and I can make it to that date.
You can drag me through the mud, spit at me, slam doors in my face, laugh at me, humiliate me, make me the most depressed I've been in my entire life, and make me feel like a failure, but I can get through it because I know that there's an end. I know that I can make it through just one more day. You can get shot at, blown up, cut up, torn up, and see the most horific things in the world, but hopefully there is that end date, where you know that at that date, you're coming home and you won't have to deal with it any more. You can do anything for just one more day when you know there's an end.
Those things don't exist in the real world.
There's no structure to real life, and that's where it gets scary. Instead of having a person moving you around, telling you where to be, how to live, and how long to live it, you get nothing. You're left with yourself, and that's scary. When you leave a structured place, be it school, family, military, mission, or whatever else, and you're left out for yourself, there's infinite possibilities, and no longer are there rules for everything because those rules don't apply any more. You can stay out as late as you want, wear whatever you want, do whatever you want, and see whatever you want, and there's no one telling you that you can't. There's nothing there to give you structure, other than yourself, and that's scary.
Trusting yourself is when you get lost, because there's doubt. You're only lost when you doubt yourself, or the structure that got you where you're at. I could be in the middle of Sweden in a town I couldn't pronounce with no idea of how to get home, but I didn't feel lost because I knew what got me there. Military members can be in the middle of a warzone in a teritory that no one has ever really mapped because no one lives there, and they're not lost because they know what got them there. But, if I got lost in the middle of Sweden now, in that same town with those same circumstances I would feel lost because I would doubt myself. How in the world did I get myself there? How am I going to get myself out? Before I trusted in the person and people involved with getting me into that circumstance that I knew they'd get me out, now I'm the only one left.
Now when I get myself lost, I'm the one that has to solve it. I don't have someone to lean up against. When I'm lost with my career and have no clue what to do, there's no rules that I can follow to get an easy out, I have to figure it out on my own and I have no clue what to do so that's really hard to do. When I get lost with how to have a happy marriage, I feel lost because there's no structure. There's no solution. There's no path that I can follow because there's no one that has set up a set of rules for me that I can just follow and know that it works.
I get why people stay in the military as long as possible. I even understand those people that want to relive their missionary, high school, or even college days, because those were the days where they felt in control. Those were the days that they didn't have to worry and felt like they knew what was going on in their life. They weren't lost.
You can't get lost when you don't have to be in charge of everything, and that's why you should get lost.
Go get lost. Get in a situation where no one can help you out of it. Go figure it out on yourself. You got yourself out in the middle of a forest in the middle of the night, now you have to figure out how to get back home. Go get yourself into a scary career, a major relationship, a life that you're not certain of, because that's when you have to grow. When you get lost, you come up with crazy solutions and get creative. When you get lost you push yourself to become better and find a way to make things work. When you get lost you come together with the people that you're lost with, and you create something better.
Feeling like you have no clue what you're doing, that you have no guide in front of you, and no one to help you doesn't make you lost, it makes you a trailblazer, an adventurer, or even a pioneer. That feeling where you're overcome with fear because everything is riding on you to come up with a solution and you're still stumbling around in the dark trying to understand which way is up is a frightening feeling, but it's in those moments that you can really do something great.
I get it. Avoiding feeling lost is a nice feeling. It's comfortable. It makes it so you have stability and never question yourself, but it's not worth it.
Jul 10, 2016
Warhammer Rant
I like Warhammer.
I like 40k, and I think I could even learn to love Age of Sigmar.
I like the hobby. I like the interactions you can have with other people. I like everything about it.
The thing I hate? I hate how that no one will play.
I feel like I'm 8 years old again walking around the house asking everyone if they want to play a game with me and no one ever saying that they do. I feel like those days when I was done with homework and wanting to play with a friend or a neighbor or do anything other than sit at home and the only response that I got back was that everyone else was busy, and that no one wanted to be with me.
It's a two person game. All I need is one, just one, other person that would be willing to say, 'you know what? Sure, I'll give it a shot' and then playing with me. That's it. Just one person. I'm not asking for a D&D group. I'm not asking for a sports team. I'm asking for one other person that shares the hobby with me and is able to fairly regularly open up a night of their schedule and say that they want to play the game with me. It's really not that complicated, and yet for some reason I can't make it happen.
There was a commentary a while ago that I watched talking about how that because there was a community or at least a sense of community where a person was they were able to quickly paint and model and get things out because they wanted to play. They wanted to get out there, and they wanted to have fun with their frinds. I'm experencing the exact opposite of that. I want to play. I want to model. I want to paint. I want to make it a good hobby, but no one is out there playing, and I feel like the entry into other groups or circles that are hardcore about this are a little TOO crazy for me. I can't find someone in my circle, in my life position that doesn't have 100 hours a week to work on things, that doesn't smell like week old doritos, to grow with this.
What I would love is to have a friend where we could grow together in this game. Start out with small games, grow up to larger games. Become comfortable with the games and learn all of the nuances. Instead of that, I'm faced with people that have been doing this for years and their only goal is to get things on the table and wreck face. They don't slow down, they don't help me understand anything, and I feel like I'm getting left in the dust. It's a stupid rant, don't mind me. I'll still paint. I just have no clue when the next time it is that I'm going to be able to field anything.
In a side note - if anyone wants to buy me anything for anything, Chaos Demons (anything that's Tzeentch) is what I've got my eyes on for much further down the road. I still have to finish up painting all of my chaos (which is coming along, my maulerfiend is almost finished, then I'll only have a handful of models that I need to work on from there to be done) then I have to try and tackle two full MASSIVE fantasy armies.
I like 40k, and I think I could even learn to love Age of Sigmar.
I like the hobby. I like the interactions you can have with other people. I like everything about it.
The thing I hate? I hate how that no one will play.
I feel like I'm 8 years old again walking around the house asking everyone if they want to play a game with me and no one ever saying that they do. I feel like those days when I was done with homework and wanting to play with a friend or a neighbor or do anything other than sit at home and the only response that I got back was that everyone else was busy, and that no one wanted to be with me.
It's a two person game. All I need is one, just one, other person that would be willing to say, 'you know what? Sure, I'll give it a shot' and then playing with me. That's it. Just one person. I'm not asking for a D&D group. I'm not asking for a sports team. I'm asking for one other person that shares the hobby with me and is able to fairly regularly open up a night of their schedule and say that they want to play the game with me. It's really not that complicated, and yet for some reason I can't make it happen.
There was a commentary a while ago that I watched talking about how that because there was a community or at least a sense of community where a person was they were able to quickly paint and model and get things out because they wanted to play. They wanted to get out there, and they wanted to have fun with their frinds. I'm experencing the exact opposite of that. I want to play. I want to model. I want to paint. I want to make it a good hobby, but no one is out there playing, and I feel like the entry into other groups or circles that are hardcore about this are a little TOO crazy for me. I can't find someone in my circle, in my life position that doesn't have 100 hours a week to work on things, that doesn't smell like week old doritos, to grow with this.
What I would love is to have a friend where we could grow together in this game. Start out with small games, grow up to larger games. Become comfortable with the games and learn all of the nuances. Instead of that, I'm faced with people that have been doing this for years and their only goal is to get things on the table and wreck face. They don't slow down, they don't help me understand anything, and I feel like I'm getting left in the dust. It's a stupid rant, don't mind me. I'll still paint. I just have no clue when the next time it is that I'm going to be able to field anything.
In a side note - if anyone wants to buy me anything for anything, Chaos Demons (anything that's Tzeentch) is what I've got my eyes on for much further down the road. I still have to finish up painting all of my chaos (which is coming along, my maulerfiend is almost finished, then I'll only have a handful of models that I need to work on from there to be done) then I have to try and tackle two full MASSIVE fantasy armies.
I Waited - My American Life
http://www.thisamericanlife.org/radio-archives/episode/134/we-didnt
This was partially for the blog, partially for something else with work, but I decided that it fit well in both places, so here's a short story called I Waited.
This was partially for the blog, partially for something else with work, but I decided that it fit well in both places, so here's a short story called I Waited.
I Waited
I waited on my twelfth birthday,
for someone to tell me that I was actually a super hero. I knew that there was
something different with me, and I knew that they had to know what it was. I
wanted them to tell me just what my super power was going to be now that I was
going into puberty, and I couldn’t wait to keep the family secret. I didn’t
care about the cake, the ice cream, or anything else that was wrapped in paper
and given to me, I was looking forward to my grandma’s traditional birthday
card to have something more than $20 in it, so that I could finally be the
super hero that I knew I was.
I waited until the last minute of
my sixteenth birthday for my family to tell me that I was adopted. I knew that
I was. They didn’t have to tell me. I wanted to have them finally admit to the
truth. There were never pictures of my mom pregnant before I was around, there
were no baby pictures of me until a few weeks old, and despite what everyone
said about how I looked like my dad having brown hair and brown eyes wasn’t a
family trait, that’s just called looking average. I knew that there was
something different about me when my entire family loved music but I could
hardly carry a tune. I knew that I was something different because whenever I
looked at family pictures I never felt like I looked like everyone else around
me, but at the same time there were old yearbooks that I thumbed through that
had pictures of people that looked more like my relatives than my actual
relatives. I waited for someone to finally admit to the truth about who I was.
I waited before and after
graduation for someone to finally let me in on the family secret. Dad changed
his name when he was in college, and he never told anyone why. I knew that once
I finished high school that I would finally be old enough in their eyes to be
told. I stayed in my bedroom that night, instead of out with my friends,
because I was certain that someone was going to come into my room and tell me
the secret.
I waited for someone to tell me
which college I should go to. I got accepted to a few different ones, but I
didn’t know which one to pick. I knew that my advisor had a favorite, but he
never actually told me which one I should go to. My parents were even less
helpful and I tried to get them to put in their opinion but they said that it
was my choice. I waited past three admission deadlines and was stuck with plan
D.
I waited in college for her to call
back. I even had her number. She was going to be the one. She made me feel like
no one else ever could. She made me feel like just possibly, somewhere in my
bones was the person that could make dreams come true. She made it feel like I
could touch the tops of trees and float through clouds, but she said that she
would call me, and so I waited. I waited until I heard from one of my roommates
that she was engaged to someone else.
I waited for a response from my
interview at my dream job. They were the company I was going to work for. They
were the only thing that I wanted to be with for the years that I planned it
out. That company was where I was going to be, and I knew that after one
interview they would see what I had and call me back. I waited for their
response. I only slept three hours a night for a week because I was afraid that
if I fell asleep that I would miss their call welcoming me in to their fold,
where I knew that I would belong and could finally make a difference in my
world. I waited because I knew that if I got that job, I could finally be
different. I could finally do all of the things that I had dreamed of doing.
I waited to ask her to marry me;
she said it was too little too late. I wanted to make sure that I was ready and
that I could support her and we could have a family together. I wanted everyone
to be happy, and she didn’t like that I wanted to provide that for her.
I waited to start my family. I
couldn’t have a kid while still in a graduate program. Then I couldn’t have a
kid while interning. I couldn’t have a kid while in my first year at the
company. I certainly couldn’t have a kid while working on the new project. I
wanted to be the father that would help and love my kid, and I couldn’t do that
while I was just getting started in the world. I waited for her to tell me that
we should have a kid, but all she told me was that we weren’t right for each
other anymore.
I waited to move. I always wanted
to live on the east coast; I liked the cities. There were jobs out there that
were better paying, there was a life style that I knew would fit me, but I
waited because it was a bit too much work to try to box up everything in my
life deciding what pieces could go with me and which had to be thrown away. I
knew that I would have been better off in a different city with a different set
of friends, but getting there was just too much work, and so I waited. Each
week I would tell myself that I would start to clean out a room. That each
night I could start to think about cleaning my life up so that I could move,
but I waited to start it all because my work days were long and I got tired.
I waited for the will to be read to
still hear the words that I knew were to be true. Everyone else was sad to hear
that my dad had died, but throughout the funeral I didn’t cry. I didn’t care
about his body being put into the ground. I didn’t care that I would never be
able to talk to him again, because I knew that the will was going to be read
and the truth would finally come out about me. It was the last chance for my
dad to tell me what I had always known, that he was not my father. I waited for
the lawyer to give away the china cabinet full of nick knacks to my sister. I
waited for the house to go to my older brother. I waited as all of the
heirlooms and chotskies were given away. I waited while everything else was
debated over, because apparently I should have had strong emotional ties to the
standup piano and argued over it for an hour with my brother and sister. I
waited because I knew that at the end of that will was going to be the lines
that I knew to be true, that I was different. That the people arguing about
silverware and blenders weren’t my actual blood, and that I was something more.
I waited for him to pull me to the side and tell me. I waited for the phone
call to come and tell me in secret for a month after the funeral.
I waited for my bosses to give me a
promotion because I knew that I was doing a good job and doing better than
everyone else in my office. I knew that I was better than them, and that my
manager had to be seeing that. I knew that they would see just how great of an
employee I was, and that they would do what had to be done and give me a raise.
I waited to enter retirement. I
still had work to do. I still had things to get done, and no one at my job
could do my job. It was my job, and no matter how smart they thought a new hire
was going to be, no one could do it faster or quicker than me. I waited to go
to finally see the cities I had dreamt about looking at. I waited to be the old
guy who could yell at kids to get off his lawn at all hours of the day. I
waited to even be that old guy who lived at the library and read books for the
entire day because that’s all he had to worry about. I knew that I wanted to do
those things, but I also knew that I needed my job and so I waited.
I waited to see a doctor about a
small little lump. It was a birthmark. A doctor wasn’t going to tell me any
different. I waited to see one because he wasn’t going to say anything that I
didn’t already know. I didn’t care if the lump had grown in size, changed
colors, or any of those other worry wort things. It was just a birthmark – a
birthmark of stage four skin cancer.
I waited for someone to come and
visit me in the hospital. Someone was going to come. My boss, my neighbor, or
anyone other than nurse Tyson was going to come and see me.
I waited for permission from my
body to stop breathing.
Jun 20, 2016
Thousand Sons Army - Warhammer
I took these pictures a while ago, but I forgot to put them up here. Here is my thousand son army. The only thing that is missing are two rhinos, but here are my 1,850 points of thousand sons.
There's all of them together. Terminator lord, sorcerer lord, a 5 man unit of warp talons, a 16 man unit of cultists, a 10 man unit of chaos space marines, a 10 man unit of terminators, a 9 man unit of thousand sons, and then the heldrake.
With that said, let's start at the top of the list with my thousand sons terminator lord. Sometimes I swap him over to a terminator sorcerer just to double down on psychic powers, but it depends on how I'm feeling.
Then comes the sorcerer. I can run him a bunch of different ways. I can say that he's just the thousand sons sorcerer, or, I can say that he's a sorcerer lord. Typically though, he gets jammed in a box with the other nine thousand sons. I have also been known to say the staff is a ranged weapon. Seeing as a lot of those options above don't allow for two melee options, that staff has been a bolter, a combi-bolter, and even the artifact flamethrower where you get to torrent strike with it.
5 man unit of warp talons. It's pretty simple and straight forward. There's not too many options for them, but now they have glowing eyes, so at least they've got that going for them.
16 man unit of cultists. This used to be only 10, but then I put in some extra time and finished up the rest of the group, just in case I wanted to bring more of them. They're typically the last thing I do in my list and they soak up anything extra that couldn't go into other areas. I know that I should give them a bit more credit because they're great bullet eaters, as well as objective secure, but here they are.
10 unit of chaos space marines. This picture is blurry, but if you've been on this blog for any time, you should know what these guys look like. I'll put in a few extra pictures of these guys blended in with the entire team, but they're also typically thrown into a rhino and bused around the table to where I need them.
10 man unit of terminators. Ahh these guys never let me down, except for every single time that they do. Seriously, I love them, but every time I've put them on the field, they've been cleared off in no time flat, mainly because they take an entire army's fire for a round to wipe them out. The best they've ever done is going from a ten man unit to a three man unit, when they faced up and tanked an entire 2,000 points worth of cannons from Astra Militarum.
9 man unit of thousand sons. These get thrown into the other rhino with the sorcerer above. They're impossible thousand sons unit (because they have melee weapons and pistols instead of full on bolters) but I like this look tot hem instead of the typical one where there's not much diversity. If the sorcerer above it only the unit sorcerer, the dude with a sword (in the front) just turns into a random thousand son with a big ol' sword. If he's a sorcerer lord, then the dude in the front, turns into the unit's sorcerer (which means in the rhino that they're jammed into that they'll have two sorcerers).
Heldrake! My thousand sons helldrake. The last piece to this puzzle. Here's all of the pictures that I have of this baleflamer, torent blasting, flying beast of awesome!
There you have it, 1,850 points of chaos space marines. All painted, all based, all up to the quality that I want them to be at, and all ready to wreck face in the name of Tzeentch.
With that said, let's start at the top of the list with my thousand sons terminator lord. Sometimes I swap him over to a terminator sorcerer just to double down on psychic powers, but it depends on how I'm feeling.
There you have it, 1,850 points of chaos space marines. All painted, all based, all up to the quality that I want them to be at, and all ready to wreck face in the name of Tzeentch.
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