A Real Mormon - My American Life

http://www.thisamericanlife.org/radio-archives/episode/138/the-real-thing

One of the things I've learned while trying to survive here in Utah is that I can't stand a 'real' mormon.

I've been a member of the church my entire life, I've been around people that believe in the religion and exposed to all sorts of thoughts and opinions about that faith from all of them at different times and in different amounts, but if there's one thing that I can't stand, it's the idea that some of these people here have in their minds have of what it takes to be a 'real' mormon.

My religion is supposed to help guide and influence my life. It's supposed to be something that helps me understand my world and make sense of what I'm doing. Religion, no matter what faith or denomination you're sitting with is supposed to give purpose and understanding to what is happening in your life and what is going on around you. Religion is not meant to be consuming. As far as I'm concerned, religion is there to help me to become a better me, not to overtake who I am and what I do every day.

Unfortunately 'real' mormons become enveloped by the culture.

This goes beyond basic things like reading scriptures, or saying prayers, but rather turns into an entire life wide consumption that overwhelms them. They listen only to religious music, they watch only religious shows, they eat, drink, sleep, live everything that is religion. They become fanatics that have no life outside of the church and the doctrine that is there, which means that they have no identity other than religion. When you ask them about hobbies or passions, their only response is church.

I'm sorry, but I'll never be able to do that.

I'm me. I can't be a 'real' mormon. I can't strip out all of the things that I enjoy that are actually fun and not oposing the doctrine of the church, just because it's not Jesus time 24/7. I'm going to listen to the music that I like, because I don't think that it's Satan's music. I'm going to play the games I like, because they're fun even though they're not Jesus themed. I am always going to be me. I can't strip who I am.


The perfect, ideal, socially accepted Mormon is something that I will never be. I like the church, and I know the truth that is inside of it, but I also know me. I am not going to sacrifice everything just to hit an ideal that is only a social construct and is not supported anywhere within the actual doctrine.