Jul 10, 2015

Never A Short Guide - My American Life

http://www.thisamericanlife.org/radio-archives/episode/94/how-to

I have a problem whenever I teach, or write guides - my guides are never simple.

I like writing too much. I try to condense things down, and I try to keep things to the core elements that need to be there, but at the same time I think that everything is important so I include everything and start writing guides that last for far too long, or include things that should never be brought up.

For example, at work, I was supposed to hold a training. It was supposed to go fast, it was supposed to be a guide that was for the new hires to help them understand the system that we use and how to do some simple things within it. Two hours later, they were given a complete overview of everything, information was jammed into their head, and I was almost out of breath because I forgot to breath because I was so excited to go over the entire process with them.

Even in my class this happened. My students were screwing up grammar and sentence structure so I did a one day class for an hour and a half that jammed into their head everything that they needed to know about the basics of English grammar if they wanted to pass my class. It wasn't pretty, in fact I'm pretty sure that after the first half hour, they stopped paying attention to what I was rambling on about, and they just gave up trying to learn because I was going on about subject and verbs and how they work together in sentences, and how you should never, ever, ever have more than two independent clauses in a single sentence.

To me, both of these times, I was creating a simple walk through. It was a guide on how to do a job better. It was a simple tutorial about what I wanted them to do, but then I got my hands on it, and I started to write, and write, and write.

The worst is when I try to write anything for something that I really love. Nerdy things that no one cares about, get the best guides from me that I can create. I'd normally just mention it and move on, but nope, this time I'm sharing it. I'm going to make sure that you see just how awesome my guides are. Here's a guide that I gave people when I started my most recent D&D campaign. It's six pages of how to create a character and understand the game, it's bad, but awesome all at the same time. I put in pictures here just to break things up a bit, but the original didn't have any pictures in it.

Beginner’s Guide To Starting D&D
This is for everyone from those that have never ever played D&D, and those that are looking for a quick refresher. Hopefully this will help you figure out what in the world you’re doing, what a character sheet even means, and how to read it.
General rule of thumb from here until you decide to ever stop playing D&D (which you won’t because it’s so awesome you’ll always be a D&D player now! *evil laugh*) if you don’t know what’s going on or what something does- consult the books! There are a lot of rules about weird situations that might never happen. You don’t need to remember all of the crazy rules that you’re never going to use (for example the grappling (wrestling) rules, especially when dealing with opponents with multiple arms and/or legs). You only need to know the basics, and that’s what we’re going to cover. If anything that you don’t know comes up, ask a question or look it up in a book. There is zero shame in saying that you don’t know something, in fact knowing my luck with the players we have, you’re going to hear me say that a whole lot and then running to my books which are well loved and falling apart to find the answer.
The first thing that we have to go over is what your character can be. Right now, your character can be male/female, and then one of seven different races, and finally have one of eleven different classes (their job). Your job is to figure out what you want to be BEFORE we start rolling a single dice.
The gender of your character honestly doesn’t play much of a role. The only thing that it does play a role in is how other players around the table interact with you, as well as maybe some of the characters inside the game. Other than that, the gender of your character doesn’t play much of a role.
Race does play a role in who your character is. Like I said above, you have seven options. If you want to know all of the details if I don’t cover them enough, open up your Players Handbook to chapter two and you can get way more information there.  
Your options are
Human, Elf, Half Elf, Dwarf, Gnome, Halfling, Half Orc. 

A short bit about each one so you know what might work with what you’re planning.
Humans- you know what those are. If not, look in the mirror. They’re not exceptionally great at one job or another, but they’re not bad at any of them either. They can be whatever you want, and it can work.
Elf- Not Santa’s version of elves. These ones are tall, lanky, pointy ears and live for quite a long time. These are Lord of the Ring elves, they’re fragile and can’t take a hit that well, but they’re great at being quick and agile, and have a good inclination towards magic and being just a bit snobby because they come with an in built superiority complex.
Half elf- half human. They are the emo kid of the D&D world. They’re not exactly as awesome as an elf, but they’re not as diverse and fluid as a human. They don’t fit into either world and are an outcast in both of them. They keep the human’s ability to be good at whatever they want, but they’re still a little squishy.
Dwarf- they do not have to have a Scottish accent. They’re big, they’re burly, and they live in the mountains. They have beards that go on for days (and sometimes the girls do too). They’re built for being tough and hearty. The only down side to them is that they’re not friendly to magic or magic users.
Gnome- they’re not your lawn version, but they are small, smart and tricky. They enjoy pranks, but at the same time they are super inventive because of how tricky and sly they try to be. It sucks that they’re short and small, but they make up for it in being fast and smart on their feet. Luckily thanks to their constant pranks, they’re not as wimpy as you’d think.
Halfling- If you’re a Lord of the Rings fan, these are the hobbits you’re looking for. They’re itty-bitty, but fast and sly. Their favorite role to play is that of a thief, their size and speed make for a deadly combination, and they can get in and out of places a lot faster than you’d typically need. You’re not going to see them trying to go toe to toe with a half-orc in a wrestling match, but if given some shadows and some time to position a halfling would ninja the pants right off of an unsuspecting target.
Half-orc, judge a book by a cover on these ones. They’re big, they’ve got muscles, and they look like they’ve taken one too many hits to the head. They can fight and survive, but they are stupid and naturally illiterate. They don’t care much for anything that can’t be used as a smashing device, but once they find a good smasher, they’ll use it to smash everything in their way until there’s nothing more to smash.
So there we have it, all of the races that you can be. Now before you go and start thinking about which one you want to be, you have to think about your class as well. They work together and really start to make your character unique, so we’ll go over those next. If you have any questions at all, and want more information about each class, open up your players handbook to chapter three. At the end of each of these I put in a quick thing about what is the best stat, I’ll cover that in the next section so don’t worry about it until then. Your options for classes are- 

Barbarian- These guys are brutal. They’re good fighters, have a huge health pool so they can take a lot of hits and still be just fine, and they even get the ability to rage. It’s the closest you’re going to get to hulking out in D&D. They get a bunch of abilities that make them stronger, angrier and tougher to kill whenever they rage. They’re dumb as a pile of rocks, but just about as difficult to destroy. You’re going to want to put high rolls in STR and CON.
Bard- They are the jack of all trades, and then some. If you want a character that can sort of pick locks, be a party support, fight if needed, and also cast a fireball, this is your class. They’re not great at any one specific thing, but they can do just about whatever you want at a semi-proficient level. The only down side to this is that they’re not great at anything. You might be a great fighter, until an actual fighter shows up and mops the floor with you. High rolls can be put in whatever you want.
Cleric- these are your religious nuts. Depending on who they worship (yes there are multiple deities) your clerics do a bunch of different things. The basic thing you need to know about them is that they are semi-decent fighters, but they have a lot of magic they can use. The magic can range from healing to buffing to supporting to even some damage. They’re not going to be great magic damage dealers, but they are your typical support character. Every adventuring party ever enjoys a cleric, even in groups full of half-orcs and dwarves (your anti-magician types) are known to carry around a cleric with them to get their help. Typically you’re going to want to put high rolls in WIS because that’s going to make your magic more powerful.
Druid- Tree huggers gone horribly wrong. They love nature. Everything about them is about nature. They’re about as good as clerics when it comes to fighting, but they have a limited list of weapons they think nature want them to use and they can’t use metal armor at all. The good news is that they can get pets, lots of pets. They can have pet bears, eagles, tigers, elephants, and anything else you’d think is an animal. If you ever wanted a zoo to work with, a druid is how you get to have your own zoo. Then they also have magic from nature as well, and a good chunk of magic too. When it comes down to the ‘major’ magic users the list goes wizards, sorcerers, druids and clerics. High roll needs to go towards WIS for spells.
Fighter- these are exactly what you would expect, anyone who fights. This is NOT limited to sword and shield fighters. Being a fighter can mean that you’re a long distance sniper, a specialist with a specific weapon, a light weight armor expert, a standing tank that wears 200 pounds of metal armor and can tank anything, or anything else that your mind can think of. This class is VERY flexible but no matter what you do with it, makes your character a great fighter. No spells and magic, but you do get the best attacks and best damage if you go with this class. High rolls towards STR for melee weapon users, DEX for ranged weapons, and/or CON for tanky fighters.
Monk- these are your martial arts masters. They don’t use weapons, they don’t wear armor, and their fists can do more damage than swords as they get higher and higher levels. They are fast, mobile, and dangerous, but they’re stuck with punches and kicks. They can do some pretty crazy things (for more information read their entry in the book) but at the same time they’re stuck in what they can do and there isn’t too much difference between one monk and the next. High rolls towards STR and DEX with a close runner up being WIS.
Paladin- your holy avengers. This is your knight in shining armor riding in on his horse with a squire by his side. These guys will always save the princess, never steal, and never hurt anyone who didn’t fit their code. They hit just as hard as fighters, but not nearly as flexible, but make up for it with a tiny bit of magic that they get to use, that’s a hair like a cleric. If you took a cleric and taught him how to really fight at the cost of learning most of their magic, you’d get a paladin. Much like a fighter- high rolls to STR and CON with WIS of at least 14 if you want to use spells.
Ranger- where a paladin is a fighter/cleric mix, rangers are fighter/druid mixes. You get to hit hard, have a smaller zoo with you, and the added benefit is that you get to have enemies that you automatically get bonuses against. You decide who/what you hate the most, and then any time that you’re fighting against those things, you get really strong bonuses. Another great thing about rangers is that they learn how to fight with two weapons, one in each hand. You’re not the best at defence if you do something like this, but you can really crank out damage if you hit with each swing of your weapons AND you’re fighting against one of your enemies. High rolls to DEX and then STR, WIS of at least 14 if you want to use spells.
Rogue- sneaky thieves. There are a lot of different options when building a rogue, but the general option is this- don’t get caught doing whatever it is that you’re doing. I’ve seen rouges build for devastating critical attacks when people don’t see them coming, being able to assassinate with fairly good accuracy, but I’ve also seen rogues that you can’t tie or lock down and can get into and out of anything that you put them into. If you want to be sneaky, this is the way to go, what you do with that sneakiness is up to you. High rolls typically to DEX, but high rolls to INT, WIS, or even STR can be useful as well.
Sorcerer/Wizard- These are two different classes, but they’re really close to the same thing so I’m going to cover both of them together. These are your squishy magic users. They can’t take a hit worth anything, but they can do some crazy stuff with magic. If you want your fireballs and lightning bolts, this is the option for you. The difference between sorcerers and wizards is this- sorcerers don’t know every single spell, but the spells that they do know they are able to use more often. Wizards know just about every single spell available, but they use them less often. Magic in D&D is in spells per day, so if you run out of spells, you can’t do anything, but at the same time, if you don’t know the spell you can’t use it in the first place. It’s your call to figure out which one you would like- a broader knowledge of spells but less usage, or more usage for less knowledge. For a sorcerer- high rolls to CHA for magic. For Wizards- high rolls to INT for magic.

With all of that information now you need to figure out what you’re going to be. You know your options, and so now it’s time to decide. There are a bunch of different ‘quizzes’ online that try to help you figure out which class or role fits you the best
but ultimately you can play whatever you want. I’ve seen people that typically play squishy magic users absolutely kill it while playing a barbarian, so play whatever you are comfortable with and is interesting for you. The game is generally balanced where any character is at least sort of equal to characters of the same level. There are some that are built for specific activities so there are ‘better’ classes than other, but that’s like saying taking math classes at school are ‘better’ than English classes. They’re just different, play whatever you like, and if anyone ever tries to talk about how much more amazing their character is than yours, just realize that they’re comparing apples to oranges and don’t know what they’re talking about.

Now that you’ve decided what you want to be, time to make that happen. David put in a link to a google doc version of a character sheet. You can use that, or you can find a paper version. Personally I like using pencil and making a hard copy, but it’s your call with that. At first glance, there’s a lot of junk on this paper and it can be overwhelming. Luckily, most of it is just a bunch of places to put little numbers to add together, for the most part it’s pretty clean cut and straight forward.

Let’s start with the basic statistics of your character. There are six stats (and their abbreviations). Strength (STR)- how strong you are, Dexterity (DEX)- how nimble you are,  Constitution (CON)- how tough you are, Intelligence (INT)- how book smart you are, Wisdom (WIS)- how street smart you are, and Charisma (CHA)- how good looking and charming you are.
Everything else on this page comes back to these six numbers. EVERYTHING. With that in mind, they’re sort of important. How do you make these numbers? You get four six sided dice (4d6) and you roll them and take away the lowest number. Those remaining three numbers you add together and write down. You keep doing that over and over and over again. Now that you have a list of numbers, you have to figure out which 6 you want to use, so you need to know what is good and what isn’t.
For stats a score of 10 is average. If you have a score of 10-11, you’re right in the middle of the group with that stat. For example a STR of 10 means that you can lift about 100 lbs over your head. It’s not bad, but it’s not amazing. A score of 12-13 makes you better than average, 14-15 is pretty good, 16-17 is well above anywhere you’d think as being normal, 18+ is amazing. (A character with 18 STR can easily lift 300 lbs over their head, can lift 600 lbs off of the ground, and can drag behind them up to 1,500 lbs). With that in mind, because this is a game and we want our characters to do better than normal, the set up that we have for making stats is typically going to make your character a lot better than your average Joe. If you want you can play an average character, just realize that you’re going to be playing with other players that kept rolling until they got at least one 18 nearby other high numbers.
Once you find a group of six numbers in a row that look nice, you then have to figure out where you’re going to put the high rolls and where the low rolls are going to go. These scores change, and get better as you play the game so don’t be depressed if you have a low roll because it can get better. For this you’re going to want to go back and look at the classes above and see where you should put your high rolls. Remember that if you’re doing this on paper to ALWAYS WRITE IN PENCIL. Nothing is going to stay the same on your character sheet, every time you level the entire thing starts to shift which means you’re going to want to use pencil so you can erase and become stronger.
That gives us a base score, and from here on out we’re just going to copy and paste things that come directly from either the book or those numbers right there. There’s only one more thing that we’ll have to roll dice for in making your character and that is hit points, but we’ll get to that when we get there.
First, now that you have your base scores you have to change them depending on the race you picked.
Human- no changes!
Dwarf- +2 CON, -2 CHA
Elf- +2 Dex, -2 CON
Gnome- +2 CON, -2 STR
Half-elf- no changes!
Half-orc- +2 STR, -2 INT, -2 CHA
Halfling- +2 Dex, -2 STR
Again, this changes your BASE score, do not put this in your modifier box. If you rolled a 15 for STR but you’re a halfling, that means that you’ve now got a STR of 13. Now that you have your base scores, modified by your race, we can put in the modifiers. Hopefully you don’t have a number lower than 8 on your stats, if you do, reroll and make sure you don’t get a stat that low. You’ll have a hard time as a new player if you have to deal with really negative bonuses.
Base Score - Modifier
8-9    -  -1
10-11    - 0
12-13    - +1
14-15    - +2
16-17    - +3
18-19    - +4
20-21    - +5
 

With those numbers we’re ready to get down to the more complicated things and do some simple math! Unfortunately a lot of the rest of this depends on what class you play and starts to get more and more specialized with each class taking different paths and making you do different things, so for now this is where we’re stopping without me talking to you over Skype or something else.
When you do talk to me (or someone that knows that they’re doing) these are the only things left that you’ll have to do-
- Skills/ranks in class skills.
- Feats
- Leveling up to level 6 (or 7)
- Gear (you have 13,000 gold to go on a shopping spree so you can gear and prep yourself)
Now that you’ve got the idea of what you’re going to play as, and you have at least the basic scores down, the only difficult part left is trying to decide if you want a sword that is surrounded in fire, or lightning.



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