Jun 29, 2015

Twitch

I streamed for the first time last night. My bitrate was screwed up, my video was skipping, and I was dropping frames left and right, but at least I did it.

I was trying to tell Kyle at work today what I was working on, and I was trying to find a picture of Manfred that was close up and not the GW Manfred that looks perfect with it's glowy orange skulls. As fun as that picture is, I didn't want him to think that I was doing anything like that.

That's when I ran into this picture .

And then I cried a bit on the inside. Maybe it's just me, maybe I'm the crazy one, but the Mortarch in that picture, lovely paint job. It looks great.But the surrounding cast isn't even finished, and that makes me sad.

Again, maybe it's just me, but if you're going to spend that much money on black nights, skeletons, or whatever else is floating around on the edges of that picture, why don't you spend time painting them? The rest of the figures on that table are just as important (to me) as the big showcase figure, so why would you spend that much time and effort on the showcase piece and then totally forget about the supporting cast?

Either way, it's official, I'm a streamer. Hopefully I'll get back on tonight and do some more and finish up assembling the body and spirits, and then I'll separate Manfred so I can paint him separate from his mount. Yay for getting close to painting! Also- yay for plastic cement glue. I've been working with super glue for such a long time, it is really, REALLY nice to not have my fingers glued together or have pieces of the figure still glued to me the next day. I was cautious about buying it, but it was well worth the investment. 

Jun 26, 2015

400 and 3,000

This is post number 400!

In other news, we also hit 3,000 total views in the history of the blog. It's a super low number (which translates to none of you reading this) but at least I hit 400 posts and I'm still going!

What's Under The Mask

http://www.thisamericanlife.org/radio-archives/episode/92/leave-the-mask-on

My family is super professional with our mask wearing. We don't talk about anything personal, we never actually talk about what we want to talk about, and we never, ever, share emotions with one another.

This year two of my dad's sisters have passed away. I was on the phone with my mom and I asked her, "How is Dad doing?" or something along those lines.

She didn't even try to respond with how he's doing. She skipped entirely over it, not given any response about my dad's mental condition with his siblings dying, and covered it all over with a mask. I tried to break through the mask and get to know them on a more personal level, like they're actually real people that have emotions with family members die, and nope, masks were up and there was no way I could get through.

Even considering the weird possibilities of what could come out, and even the potential of the icky details that might be discussed, I would love to somehow have a one on one with one of my parents (I don't trust them together, they'd start covering for each other and distracting from the topic at hand) and get some honest answers out of them. I have so amny questions for my parents, especially my dad, to try to figure out who in the world they are. I would love to get more details from him know more about his life and who he is, and I want to know all of it. The unfortunate side to this is that there's not that line of communication. I don't have any way to break trhough that mask. I have the ability to smile and nod at him, say things that are super fluffy like talking about lawn care, but actual person to person conversations where you talk about what you like and what you hate, or even your personal life, there's just nothing there.

A lot of people I know have this idea of calling their parents whenever they have questions. When in doubt, they call up Mom and Dad. Even when they don't have a reason to call their parents, they give them a call. To me, that is the weirdest thing in the world. I'm not going to call them just to chat. I'm not going to ask them for help. We don't have that relationship.

It's great and all to have a mask on from time to time, but it's frustrating at the same time when you keep those masks up around your family. It's sort of sad when I start to think about it how little I know about my family, and I'm not even talking about them as their personal histories, I'm talking about their individual personalities. We always avoided each other. We still avoid each other. I haven't spent time with my family since before I was a teenager, and so for all intensive purposes we hardly know each other and really don't get what's going on in each others heads because we never actually talk to each other.

Worst Person To Buy For

Some people say that I'm the worst person to buy for. You know what? To fix that, I'm starting in on a wish list. If I get bored, I'm jumping on Amazon and adding things. I already added some things, but really, from here on out, if I see something I like, but not enough to budget into my money, I'm throwing it onto the wish list.

http://amzn.com/w/1DKM7WDXIISM9 

Jun 23, 2015

No More

I can do some crazy grinding if I know what I can see the goal that I'm going for.

You tell me that a monster will give me what I want at a .03% chance, and at least I know what I'm trying to do.

You tell me that the only way to platinum a game is to upgrade every single item and make it so I have a full and complete list (but then give me the list) - I can do that.

The biggest grinds that I have been willing to do at least give me some sense of what I'm doing is headed in the right direction. I might have been doing it slightly less efficently as I could have, but I at least knew where I was, where I was headed, and the long path that was between those two points.

Cross Edge is off the table.

I'm done with it.

I was not that far into the game when I ran into a 'boss' fight. (Trying to fight Etna and a mob of prinies) and there was a minor problem - I couldn't do it. The team that I had leveled up, and even the people that had recently joined the madness of my team were not strong enough to put a dent in the fight. Even with a cycling of characters out once some of them died, it still wasn't enough.

I went back and started to grind as much as possible, and even with almost two hours of grinding, my characters were still not strong enough, and she wrecked my team. I'm sure there's some combo of the dozen characters that I have floating around that would absolutely wreck Etna and her priny squad, but I don't have time to go through all of the variations of that, trying to figure out stat and gear builds that work best with specific character combinations. I'm sorry, I just don't care. You gave me too much to play with, with no explanation as to what the people even do, so no, you don't get my time.

I don't know how close I am to the end (I'm guessing not that close), I know that I have no clue what is going on, and I'm already frustrated with the game, so instead of trying to bite my lip and just deal with some of the bad, I'm throwing in the towel.

The game is not user friendly. The game isn't player friendly. There is no quality of the game that makes it so that I think that I can stand playing it for the seemingly required 100+ hours just to get past where I'm stuck at. It's not worth it. There's not a strong enough story line, the characters are not memorable enough, the fighting is too convoluted, the graphics are too poor, and the controls and menus are anything but intuitive.

I can't do it.

No more Cross Edge.

The Box - My American Life

http://www.thisamericanlife.org/radio-archives/episode/91/escape-the-box

I've given up on trying to fight the box. I'm who I am, and there's not much I can do to try to fight it.

It's one of those weird moments that you start to realize it, but there are some things out there that I know about me. I've been around me for 29 years, and I know me pretty well. With those years of experience I've started to realize who I am on the inside. The unfortunate part is that there are times that I'm not happy with who I am. It's not something that I'm super excited about, but there are sometimes that I try to break away from who I know I am on the inside.

As much as I try to fight who I am, as much as I try to fight against the box that I should be in, the more I find myself longing for the box. I try to distance myself from what I know I am, and who I am, and then once I'm good and distanced from it all, I find myself being pulled back like a rubber band snapping back into place.

In my class I teach a book that tells students that to be influential, to be something worth mentioning, you have to think outside the box and be a person who changes things. As much as I wish that was true, as I keep going day to day, the more I start to figure out that it doesn't work this way. I can't think outside the box, because the box that I'm in is pretty much set on me. Anytime that I try to get outside of that box, I findmyself getting pulled back in.

Now, don't get me wrong, the box that I call home is not your normal box. The box that I like and the box that I feel comfortable in, to other people is totally outside of their box, but to me, my box is my box and that's where I live. Every time that I've tried to move past that, tried to fight what my box is, or even trying to make my box smaller so it's less crazy on the inside, my box just bounces back to the size it was before reminding me that I need to be inside of it.

I think that's the trickiest part about these boxes that everyone is trying to get out of. They are all different sizes and shapes. One person's box is another person's universe. Some of the big people that you think are thinking outside of the box, are living comfortably inside their box, it just happens that their box is a different shape or size than your box so you think that they're going outside of it. Some people are so worried about trying to get outside of their box, they don't understand that their box is an awesome cardbord box castle that you can do a lot of the stuff you want inside of and there's no need to leave.
 For me, I need to stop trying to leave my box, and just set up home inside my box, and finally realize that it has running water, electrical, and a cool sky light that none of the other boxes in the neighborhood have. If you're stuck in a tiny itty bitty box, sure, go think outside of it, but if you've got a super cool box fort, stop trying to get out of it and just play with what you've got.

Jun 21, 2015

New Label!

Because I keep bringing it up, and because it seems to start being a part of what I do, I'm making it an official label. Congrats Warhammer, you just got upgraded to something that I talk too much about so that if people want to search it, they can find it.

In other news, I went with Manfred the Mortarch and Nagash, mainly because that's what the store had. The reason I did this? I finished the last unpainted mini in the VC group a mounted necromancer.

This was my first real attempt at trying to blend, and I did it a bit heavy handed, but hey, baby steps!
Of course, I'm bored. I don't want to start putting together a mortarch or a Nagash right now, so time to figure out the points that I have in VC, low end only. I don't even know which models I have (in set numbers, I just have rough ideas) so it's time to put them all together and see just what I can put on a table.

What I've painted -
-21 zombies
- mounted necromancer
- vampire on zombie dragon (Zacharias)

Everything that I inherited from mission -
- Black Coach
- mounted necro
- necro on foot
- banshee
- vampire
- 10 grave guard
- 24 skeletons
- 22 "zombies" that are just left over bits put on squares to summon up when necromancers decide to bring in extra bits that you didn't start out with.
- 40 zombies (two units worth with two standards, but oddly no musicians)


And then 1 random skellie that I have no clue where it came from, but it's horribly painted, but is the SINGLE piece that I have that has something on its base more than just black or green paint.



Until July 11th when I (hopefully) go to Pocetello and pick up 3,000 more points of an army, here's what I have. At the low end, I've currently got about 1,440 points. If I give some magic items, break things apart, and really stretch it, I can hit somewhere around 2,000, but that's a big stretch.

I guess I'll just have to do some generic batch work on some high elves to pass the time, because I want to finish the whole army and get it under my hand first before I even try to attempt a big piece like Manfred or Nagash. I do have a high elf hero with sword and shield, as well as a Teclis, along with a huge block of Swordmasters of Hoeth (17 of them). I hope that keeps me busy enough until July 11th.

Jun 18, 2015

Only $200

My mind is a weird one.

I was thinking that I wouldn't be able to get to Pocatello for that previous sell, so I started to look on Ebay for other options. The best part was that just today there was a HUGE army for sell that was going for sell for $700 (which was a stupid good deal).

The problem with this is that I was sitting here actively trying to figure out how I could manage to put together $700 and was seriously considering putting it all on the credit card and just begging for forgiveness after I recieved the package.

The good news is this- the sell that was happening with the guy up in Utah went through, so instead of spending $700, I'm only wasting $200 on something that is totally not necessary.

It's a weird day for me when I say something like that, where I'm only spending $200 instead of the potential $700. 

The stupid part now, is that now I can't decide if I do one real purchase which one to stick to.

One of these -
one of these -
this bad boy-
Or if I should just go all out and do one of these things -
But hey, there is always the possibility of getting the first and the second guy, they're the exact same cost of the last group. . . I like that one. It gives me more specalty and leadership options and they also just look awesome.




Jun 15, 2015

I'm Sorry, But Who Are You - The Games I've Played

Cross Edge came from the mindset of everyone loves X, Y, and Z, so let's add them together to create one giant monster of a creation where everything comes together that everyone loves!

You know what our audience likes?

Characters - let's put them all in.
Stats - let's put them all over the place.
Crafting - everything is going to be crafted, EVERYTHING.
Menus - our previous games with a few menus were good, so more must be better.

And do you know what our audience hates? Tutorials. No one likes sitting through long drawn out explanations as to what in the world all of the game mechanics actually does, no one has time for that, we just want game play! That is based off of those game mechanics. . . that never get explained. . . and only make sense after you dig through the internet for hours.

The idea behind Cross Edge is a good one. There are three separate franchises that are coming together, with a mix of new, and they're trying to tell a story. The only problem, all three franchisees are in depth RPG power houses, and to mix together their characters into one giant RPG only creates one giant cluster of confusion.

Let's start the list of confusion!


Characters - I'm not that far into the game and I'm writing this review. Normally I wait for a game to be finished before I write a review, but this one is getting to be a tad bit predictable, so it's getting the review now. The character list for Cross Edge is EXPANSIVE. The list of playable, unique, story line characters is huge, and to understand what any of them do takes a long time of trial and error in battles. There's so many people that I feel like I should know, but ultimately I've found myself asking, who are you? What do you do? Why do I care? Who is the healer? I don't know. I don't even know if that's an option. That leads me to the next one -

Skills - Skills are confusing on top of confusing with a side of WTF. Depending on the weapon that you are using you can get different skills. That means that if you upgrade a weapon into something else, you might just loose that one skill that you really liked because your new weapon doesn't even have it. Each skill has a range and area that it works in. That means that if you have your favorite skill that can wreck people in one or two hits, but you're not in range for it, I'm sorry, but you can no longer use it. That means that instead of trying to figure out which people on my team are the most powerful in single hits with limited range, I'm sticking entirely with weak characters that can hit anywhere on the field just because I don't want to have to worry about the whole idea that my skill and me are positioned poorly so I can't do what I want to do.


Crafting - You can only buy the most basic items in the store. The only way you can ever get anything better is by crafting them. The only problem with this is that to get certain items to upgrade other weapons, you first have to level up a weapon or armor up to max level and then destroy the item to hopefully get a crafting item that is used somewhere else. Then you also have to sit around and farm items that drop from enemies. This means that a lot of your time is spent grinding to upgrade and break weapons just to build other weapons, just to break them, to try to build something else. And that entire process is hardly explained to you. There have been times that I've been playing where I stop and do nothing but grind and play around with the messy crafting system because I'm trying to make sure that my characters are strong enough level to make it to the next area. This is not because I just love having to deal with it and it's so great and smooth that I can't put it down, but rather that it takes so much time and is so convoluted that I have no clue what is going on and get tripped up in menus that it takes me that long to get a weapon, armor, and accessory built and leveled up for my four main party members.

Story - By this point int he game, I'm positive that every evil character that I'm currently fighting is going to join my team, because that's how things have been going up to this point. I know that the nameless shadow that currently is hiding from me, is somehow going to be a team mate of mine in a few days of gameplay. Even with knowing this, because of the massive time gaps between key story line episodes where I am forced to grind and play around with the system to make it work how I need it to I don't know what the game is actually about. I am totally confused by the story. I've tried to understand it, and I've tried to even make my own story line up to break even, but I have no clue what's going on with this game.

Menus - The menus in this game are absolutely stop the game stupid hard to fight through. A lot of time that you're trying to do one thing, you instead have to hunt around and make sure that you're in the right area to do the right thing, otherwise you have another list of menus that you're going to have to sort through to make sure that everything is all right.

In general, this game gives you a lot of stuff to work with, but instead of being a polished amount of stuff, it's a lot of poorly created, poorly managed stuff, that does have that possibility to doing amazing things, but frustrating and confusion are the only real things that you're going to find in this game.

This Call May Be Recorded For Training Purposes - My American Life

http://www.thisamericanlife.org/radio-archives/episode/90/telephone

I work at a call center.

Luckily for the past few years I haven't had to worry about my calls being recorded for training purposes. However, for the first bit of my time at the company I worked with a group that was always recorded and we had hours upon hours of us on the phone with people yelling at us in a variety of different languages.

Those recordings are easily the most interesting insight that I have ever gotten to listen to into the crazy world of people. When you're calling customer service, or a company, or whatever it is, and you're angry, you're only thinking about you. You only want to get the service that you want, and you are irked that you're not getting it. At no point in time do you ever think that there is going to be a third party listening to you rant about your product not being delivered on time, two months later, in a conference room trying to see if there is anything better that their customer service could be doing with working with your crazy shenanigans.

Everyone involved with this has never enjoyed it. It's like listening to your voice in a recording (which no one likes and everyone thinks that they sound different than what they expect) but doing it in the most stressful time where one person is super angry about whatever it is that they didn't get, and the other is doing nothing more than trying to diffuse the bomb of customer service, while still trying to follow the company rules, and make the customer happy.

The very best phone recordings that I have ever listened to is when one of the people in the conversation breaks their expectations of what they should be doing in part of the job. Either when the customer gets exceptionally angry, or flips the script and gets exceptionally nice and kind. The only other one that is hilarious to listen to is when the customer service person stops being sunshine and rainbows trying to make the customer happy, and they just lay it all out on the line and rip into a customer. This doesn't happen often, but with people taking a ton of calls daily, and having to deal with some real crazies, there is always the chance the customer service representitives are going to snap, and when they snap, they snap like the best of them.

You need to understand the most basic idea - people that work in customer service, especially customer service over the phone, deal with some of the rudest people out there. People over the phone are not nice. That means that for 40 hours a week, we get exposed to some really crazy ways to insult people. That means that when our limit breaks, when we finally hit that point where you're the straw breaking our back, we snap with the expertise of a person who gets yelled at about stupid things for 40 hours a week. You might think you know how to be angry, but you've never heard a real pro go for it until you've ticked off a customer service agent, and the best part is that if you're lucky, the company caught the entire thing on recording.

Jun 8, 2015

I Got Bored So I . . .

You will quickly learn that me starting out any sentence with, "I got bored so I. . ." is never a good thing. Only really weird crazy things happen when I get bored. I got bored, so I learned how to spin fire. I got bored so I read the entire Harry Potter series in a week. I got bored so I 100% FF XIII. I get bored, and so I go out and do things, and most of the time they're things that could most likely get me in trouble in the long run.

I got bored so I started checking Ebay and Craigslist for Warhammer stuff.

There's a guy selling his entire vampire army for easily 1/3 of what the actual retail cost is worth. The army is worth over $700 if you bought it from the company, he's selling it for $200.

Just look at the list of stuff I'd get, and what they would sell for if I bought them from a store.

50 Crypt Ghouls - $123.75
20 Dire Wolves - $49.50
34 Skeleton Warriors - $74.25
21 Grave Guard - $82.50
10 Hexwraiths - $66.00
8 Black knights - $66.00
1 Corpse Cart - $29.75
13 Zombies - $35.00
Vlad Von Carstein - $19.25
Krell, Lord of Undeath  - $16.00
Heinrich Kemmler - $29.50
Wight King - $14.75
3 Vampires - $48.00
2 Necromancers - $29.50
Games Workshop Dice Cube - $8.25
Vampire Counts Hardback book - $45.50
Extra parts and bits - $??? Don't know cost on this
2 plastic organizer trays - $16.50

That comes out to be $754, and that's not including tax (and shipping if I bought it from online). And I'd be able to buy it for $200. If we do some rough estimating on taxes, that means that I'm getting this for 25% of its actual retail value.

It's a 75% off clearance sale on what I want to buy and all I have to do to get it is to somehow solve two very big glaring problems that are stopping me from doing it this weekend.

The two major problems with this are-
1- It's still $200, and that's a lot of money with how things are going lately.
2- It's all the way up in Pocatello Idaho. He said that he'd meet half way. . . but that doesn't mean much. It's still going to be a bit of a road trip.
This would easily double, if not triple my army count for vampires (it's about 3,500 points on the low end, but upper end if we're getting creative with how we label things, it can easily sit around 5,000 more points that I could table), give me more than enough stuff to work on for a LONG time coming,
Somehow, I have to talk to Alicia and convince her that we can afford problem 1, and that on a weekend coming up we can afford (both in time and money) to do problem 2.

Zombehz

Remember these guys?
I finished them today.


For the record, they're a set of zombies blended together with a unit of Bretonian Men-at-arms.

That means that the only thing that I have to paint for the rest of my vampire army is a mounted necromancer.
 After that I either have to go and buy more stuff for my vampires, or do something that I don't really care about, like painting some high elf units with their pointy ears.

This is the tricky part of this hobby. I can't decide what I want to do at this point. Do I want to work on something that I will never use as part of the game, just because it's free? Do I buy one BIG piece that will take me a while to figure out and paint? Or, do I buy a battalion box that has a ton of models in it, and just commit to the hobby and realize that I'm going to be working on a ton of units because they all come in the box? The options!

Oh well, either way, I'm finished with zombies for now. I'm sort of happy how they turned out considering that I haven't painted in such a long time and I'm using walmart paint, with cheap brushes, so it's not too bad. Especially considering that they're zombies and get absolutely wrecked by just about every single thing that is in the game and are only valued at about 3 points a head. I picked up a few new tricks and tips that I tried on them, so at least I have those under my belt now to be used on some of the bigger things.

Jun 7, 2015

New House

I have a new house.

New, as in I haven't lived there before, and it's new to me. The house itself is not new, other people have lived in it, but to me, it's a new place.

That means a few things.

First - it means that my life is being boxed up so I'm not able to do much of anything because everything is impossible to get to.

Second - it means that my free time is spent making boxes and filling them with random stuff. At first this was organized and I had a plan. We've gotten to the point where I simply do not care, and throw stuff in and hope that it doesn't break in the 3 minute ride it takes to get from the apartment to the house.

Thirdly - I really have been slacking on listening to TAL and writing on here. I get to it as often as possible, but I promise that this week I will get at least a few episodes in and will write on here. I know, I know, I'm behind schedule on the make believe deadline that no one cares about, but whatever I'm still going to keep on trudging along.

Finally - on an unrelated note, the more I look at stuff on Ebay for warhammer, the more I start to realize a common flaw with people that don't like it. They buy too much, they focus on the super cool units first, and then they get to the core units and want to hurt themselves because it's nowhere near as awesome as the super hero lord that they just made. If you're going to play the game, pick out an army that you like the core, because you're going to be making a lot of them, and they're going to be your best friends. Sure, the lords and heroes are awesome, but when it comes to creation time, you're going to spend more time building that block of 30 units in your core, than you are working on that one hero. Just what I've seen take it for what it's worth.

Jun 5, 2015

Blue Table Painting

I decided to try to do a profile myself of a company here in Utah that is an international force that does a good worth of damage in sales on a yearly basis, and has been around long enough to prove that they're not just a fluke - Blue Table Painting. Also, it didn't hurt that I was sort of looking to see if they were hiring an online editor/content creator because their writing is. . . interesting.

Although the company is producing sales in the range of $3,000 a customer, the organization and leadership of the entire company is lacking.

For those that don't know, BTP is a company that does commissioned pieces for table top games. You pay them money, they get your army ready for you. However, due to some shotty leadership that is so heads in the clouds, and not focused at all on the bottom line, the only reason that they are able to stay alive is because they're one of the only reliable companies in the world to provide this service.

I was supposed to meet the owner at 11, and even in his email he said to give him a text before I left to verify that I was on my way. I did. There was no response. I drove all the way to Spanish Fork, was outside the studio, and texted him again asking him if it was still okay to do the interview. No response. I went inside and started to look around (there was one teenage boy just jamming out to music blasting through the speaker system not paying attention to the world, with at least a few thousand dollars worth of merchandise, books, gear, dice, and everything else that is part of the wargaming hobby, just out in the open.

It wasn't until after looking around and trying to see what was in the studio that I managed to get a text back to him telling me that he'd have to re-schedule because he was in Salt Lake (about an hour and a half away) or I could talk to Tamie.

I decided I was not going to waste another Friday on trying to schedule a meeting when he would apparently just forget about me, so I stopped the boy from jamming out, and asked for Tamie.

It turns out that Tamie is in charge of shipping and the online store, and is also the ex-wife of the owner, with a heavy dose of the ex-drama. She didn't pull punches and was brutally honest about the company.

I started to ask questions about the online presence the store has and . . . well. . . she admitted that it used to be ran by staff, but it hadn't been updated since almost a year ago because the staff was no longer with the team. There are elements of it that are outdated, links are misdirected, and things look generally unkept, because they are. There's no one in the company that has any knowledge of how to do webdesign, and there's no budget to fix it, so it is permanently stuck at where it's at until management can figure out a way to afford it. And that seems to be the general theme of the entire company for the entire interview.

Things are a bit off (like the lack of customer reviews online) but the owner doesn't know how to include that as part of his marketing, so he doesn't do it. There is no marketing or sales team because the owner doesn't know how to do that, and can't afford someone who does. Everything that would be a worth wile investment (like an understandable sales and pricing system to give at least a general idea to the cost of a purchase) is not fixed because the owner likes the confusion and blocky way that he has it now.

Then comes the quality of work. While I was there, there were some large pieces that were champions or lords that were decently done. They were detailed, there was work involved, and there was some decent quality stuff. Maybe, not the quality worth the money that was being paid, but it was still decent stuff that I could point at and go, 'wow, that was pretty good'. The unfortunate end to this, is the low quality stuff.

If you're not willing to pay a significant amount of money, and I do mean significant, expect dry brushing to be the main tool of choice for blue table painting.
For those wondering to paint that figure above you need a few things. First a black primer, then you'd do the white/silver sections, dry brushed. Then you'd do the red sections, dry brushed. From the looks of it if you're feeling nice you'd might do a bit of normal brush work on the red area highlights, but it could just be a heavy dry brushing. You'd then paint in the grey for the gun sections that the character is holding on to, and top it all off with green dots for eyes. Four layers of paint, and you're done. Generally speaking, it is simplistic painting.

What's funny is that when talking about painting, on the company blog, they show competitors paintings, and it doesn't even compare.

Why would you show something that detailed and amazing when your own work isn't?

The weirdest part about this entire situation is to find real pictures of their work is actually REALLY hard to do. You can find pictures of lots that they're selling, but generally speaking a lot is an army that they bought from someone else, and are reselling without doing any painting or modifications to. The more you look for actual painting done from BTP, that is accepted as BTP's work, and not just something they're selling that someone else made, it's difficult to find any pieces online of their own. They have youtube videos and they have some online media, but all things considering, for such a visual product that needs to be seen to be understood, there sure is a strong vacuum of no information out there for the company's products.

I guess the best question that I asked was what the company's five year plan was.

She couldn't answer it. The big plan that the company had in the next five years was to not go under.

This is one of those companies that I look at and say that they could have a really amazing thing going for them. Their quality is a little lacking, but they make up for that quality in raw speed. Where other groups might take months (or even years) to do a paint job, they get figures on the table in weeks. However, because management doesn't know how to manage, market, advertise, do social media, and all of those other important elements of running a business like this, they are slowly loosing an up hill battle. All things considering (even with my limited business knowledge) BTP, could seriously use one full time staff to make sure their online presence is moderated and up to date. To run simple campaigns to advertise, or even run very small and simple events would bring some well needed attention to the company, and most importantly, showing the actual work done by the company to the public would do wonders. It makes me worry when a company isn't up front about what they do and BTP is in that category of not being as transparent as I would like, which leads to some very dissatisfied customers.

It's a good company. The market is there for it, there is a distinct advantage that they have (speed, reliability), and their customers are willing to pay TOP dollar for it. The potential for a sustainable company is right there, however the management is not marketing or displaying their product as effectively as they could, and they're missing out on key elements that could strengthen their market and their bottom line, so instead of being comfortable where they're at, they keep floundering around trying to do their best, while being led by a former fourth grade teacher turned CEO.
Fun side note - they originally were going to name their company Blue Door Painting (they owned a store with a blue door) but then found out that Blue Door is a rather adult company, and decided to change it to something not so X rated. Bonus round to that side note - the owner's name is Shawn Gately and there happened to be an adult film star that used that name as well. It was a great way to start out a company.

Jun 3, 2015

Black Sheep - My American Life

www.thisamericanlife.org/radio-archives/episode/89/sibling-rivalry

My sisters are six and eight years older than me. Even though I'm a boy, and they're girls, there's no real rivalry physically when an 18 year old thinks that their ten year old punk brother is being annoying. No real rivalry there.

Although we didn't really quite compete physically to see who was faster, stronger, or anything like that, their histories with my parents were always hanging over my head, because I wasn't them. I never had to actually compete with them, I just had to compete with the idea that they left behind.

I love my sisters, they are totally bonkers, but that's just my family, we're all bonkers. But compared to me, yeah. . . there's no real comparison, I'm 100% the black sheep to the family because I can never measure up to what they have done, and what they're doing right now.

Let's start with my oldest sister. She was a violin prodigy, knew how to play every instrument in a string orchestra, was the valedictorian of her high school, was a state swimmer, went to state for a variety of different things (like Girl's State), won a list of competitions and prizes that are really just annoying to go through, had a healthy social relationship, and was amazingly well rounded doing amazing in every class that she touched. That was just high school. College rolled around, she got her undergraduate in a crazy difficult degree (zoology), got married and had a kid almost right off the bat, and was doing the amazing job of having a kid and also working on her masters degree, and she farts rainbows and poops butterflies. Seriously, she can never do wrong. Her children are amazing, they run marathons as a family, they're well rounded, spiritually minded, and just everything that you'd expect.

Then comes my second sister. Where the first sister was a scholarly genius and could do no wrong, the second sister was a quick follow-up to her, but with her own twist. The second sister was also a state swimmer, a super scholar but only the salutatorian, was another musical genius that played the piano, organ, oboe, English horn, created her own reeds for those instruments, and then also did percussion during the marching band season. She was a social butterfly as well, financially minded, and super caring. For her extra kick to the teeth, she is super caring, loves to serve and work with children, especially students with learning disabilities (she loves teaching middle school special ed), is the ideal stay at home mom, and she even served her mission where she learned how to speak Vietnamese.

Then there's me.

In high school I failed almost an entire year of school just because I didn't want to do the work. I was never a social butterfly and kept to my good ol' social introverted ways (and still do). I was never amazing at music (mainly because I rarely practiced and didn't really care about it). For the majority of my marriage, I've been the secondary income and support to the family. I don't have much to show on my resume, and compared to my sisters anything that I could try to be proud of instantly gets outweighed by at least double because they did it better, and they did it first.


I recently got over the hump of understanding that DA is not going to sell any copies, so I shared the link on Facebook.

My parents are not on Facebook.

I have still not told my parents.

I know that I should be proud of it. I know that it's something that I should take pride in and point to and say, "Look! I wrote all of this! I created a world! I created people! I created everything! I have the power of creation, and I harnessed it to create something worth looking at!" but in the back of my mind I swear that my parents are going to compare me to  my sisters and say some back handed compliment like, "That's a nice little book. Why can't we get it as a hard copy? Did you not get a real publisher?"

No matter how hard I try no matter how fast I try to catch up to them, my sisters are always going to be six and eight years ahead of what I'm doing, and I will always be left in the dust. No matter how hard I push, I can't catch up because they have such a huge head start. The stupid part about that is that I can look at it as a third party who has no biases and realize that I'm still doing amazing things. That by other family standards I'm a star, but that's not who I'm fighting against. That's not the people that I'm trying to prove that I can be on their level, that I'm not the 10 or 12 year old boy that they knew me as when they left the house for college.

I am the black sheep in my family.

I'm a successful adult who has a job in the field that he studied, I'm moving into a home that I will own, I have a lovely wife and daughter, I have a masters degree, and I recently was able to publish my first book . . . and I still consider myself the failure of my family.