Open Book - My American Life

http://www.thisamericanlife.org/radio-archives/episode/132/fathers-day-99

I will be an open book.

With my daughter, and any other kid that might call me Dad in the future, I have promised that I will be an open book. I will share my life, I will share my personality, and I will share who I am with them. As much as an introvert as I am, as much as I love my alone time, anyone who can ever call me their father, is in that circle so I have to talk to them. I will play with them, I will get to know their friend's names and drama, I will do everything I possibly can to be that ear that they can talk to.

People that call me Dad will know that I will do miracles for them. They will know that they have to only ask nicely and I will do everything in my power to do what they need. They will learn that I am totally whipped and it's because I love them that I act the way I do. They will know that I care. Even when my life doesn't mesh with theirs, even when everything around them makes me want to yell because they aren't what I expected, they will know, constantly, that I love them.

I will say please every single time.

I will say thank you every single time.

I will never use force. I will walk away when I want to.

I will let them see me cry. I will make mistakes, not on purpose, but because I'm a human and that's what we do, and I will show them how to pick themselves up and become better. I will say I'm sorry when something is my mistake. I will let things be my mistake, even if I think they aren't.

I will demonstrate everything I expect them to become.

I will not waste my life at my job and claim that it is because I want more for them that I spend more time at work than I ever do with them. Even if over-time is offered, my family will always come first. Even if that's a slap against me in a promotion, even if we could really use the money, or even if it's over time that is almost essential to get the job done, my family comes first.

I will have 'the talk' with them, and it's going to happen often. I don't care if it's super awkward, or uncomfortable, it needs to be done. I'll try my best to hide it in a car ride trip, or a corner discussion where they're least expecting it, but sex is not going to be an untouchable topic. It's my job to answer those questions, and I'm going to step up and say something about it. 

I will say that I am proud of them. Even if it is a small accomplishment, I will brag. I will be 'that guy' at work that doesn't shut up about his family. They will show up to my job and everyone will know who they are, and all of the amazing things they've done. I will find amazing accomplishments, even if everyone thinks that they aren't that impressive.  

I will never yell through the house. I will always try to talk to them face to face. Both when I correct and praise, it will be eye to eye, knee to knee, in a voice loud enough that they can hear me. I will talk to them. I'll never send an interpreter or negotiator to say what I want to say.

I'll wait. I will stay up late when I know they are out, and I will make sure they are home safely. Even when they're an adult I will wait for the call telling me that they made it home and I don't have to call the cops. I'll be outside dressing rooms, and I'll sit through all of the over times.

I will listen to every single story they ever want to tell me, no matter how long it is or what time it is.

I will always say that I love them. Always. Even in the darkest moments, and especially in the most socially awkward moments, I will say it. I will hug them, in public, when their friends are looking,  even when they're at college, and especially when they get older. My last words when I leave them for any amount of time will never be goodbye. I will always see them later. I will always love them.

When they make me upset, I will first try to find a way to fix my view of them and think that it is maybe my own fault that I didn't see it their way.

If they say they're in love, I won't doubt them. It doesn't matter who that person is, where they're from, or their history, love is love and I'm not going to step in front of that train - unless they're young, then no one is dating anyone.

Books, TV, computers, games, hobbies are things to be shared, not an excuse to be by myself even though we're in the same room.

I will do these things as I fill my role as a dad. During future fathers days, this is what my family is going to say about me. This is what I will do not because I think I'm perfect or because I know everything there is about being a dad, but because I want to live the dream I never experienced.