I Don't Know

Staff training was at LDSBC on Tuesday night, and for the first two hours there was no actual training. There were people talking, things were being said, words were entering my ears, however, nothing of any substance was being taught to me about being an educator for the university.


One thing that did stick out to me was when the president of LDSBC, President J. Lawrence Richards, said the following line - "None of us here in this room tonight are here for the money."

This and a lot of the other things that were said throughout the first two hours didn't sit well with me. It was like the entire corporation of LDSBC and me do not see eye to eye with each other. You see, the problem is that it's my job. Teaching is my career. It is what I want to be when I grow up. I am doing exactly what I want to be doing thirty years from now.

They treat it as either a hobby that no one chooses to do, or they treat it as a church calling where God told me that this is where I should teach.

I'm sorry, but neither of those are true. Teaching is not bonus income, or community service hours for me. Teaching English is not something I do because I'm bored and need something to keep my brain from going into atrophy. I do not teach because I want a bit of extra cash to spend on the weekends. It is my career.

For two hours I sat in a room that was labeled a training, and was trained in nothing.

I was told from the speakers that the Spirit would be there and hopefully the Spirit would make up for anything that they didn't teach. I'm sorry, but you have to teach SOMETHING for the Spirit to make up the difference. They taught me that I should ask myself 'what could I do better' and then do it better.

Seriously? That's your great two hour speech? Figure out what you're doing wrong and fix it? That's all of the training that you're going to give?

The only other training that they gave was when they put us in groups and told us to teach each other about what we have done with students. I'm sorry, but I learned little/nothing, and it lead to no great marvelous insight. In the two hour massive group "training" I learned less than I would have from reading random google searches about how to become a better teacher.

Then came the one hour English department training. In the first ten minutes we covered more ground than we ever did in the two hours. We learned. I learned. I walked away with tools that I could use. If we're only talking about the English department training, it was golden, however the first two hours made me seriously wonder if I was a fit for the college. 

Everything that they were talking about in the first two hours - I don't agree with.

They said that the number one priority of the college was to convert souls to Christ, and only as a far secondary nature comes our discipline.

I'm sorry, but as an English instructor, I think it's my number one goal to teach my subject. My students are paying to learn my topic, not to be preached to.

They said that we teach real life skills for the jobs our students can obtain.

The syllabus and course information I've been given is anything but real life. It is the fluffiest thing that doesn't prepare anyone for any sort of job. Even how they treat students who do not fit criteria is not reflective of the real world. They want to prepare our students for the real world, but then they're too afraid to actually expose the real world to our students.

They said we only have 10% of our students wanting to transfer to further education.

Every student I say that to is shocked to hear that information.

They said we should have students teach our class and be instructors with us.

My students are not fluent in the skills that they need to learn. That is why they are in the class. No matter how you try to spin something, you can not teach something that you do not know even exists. Even things like peer evaluation I always feel sketchy doing with my students because there are some of them that simply do not know, but I have no way of doing it all myself so they have to do some of the work.

They said that we should make a class president.

I don't need someone to manage other people's lives. If they don't want to show up for class, that is their choice. They shouldn't need a babysitter, and there is no need for students to be babysitters for each other. They are adults. No one checks on me if I choose not to do something, it just doesn't happen.

There were so many things in that discussion that I didn't agree with. We're trying to show that we are an accredited college that can give degrees and skills that are necessary in the workplace, but then we don't treat the classroom as an extension of that workplace. How are we supposed to teach what we promise, when we do not practice it in our classrooms? And then ultimately, how is it that they can claim that we, the adujunct faculty, are such a great force for good and without us the school would die - and not treat us like that? It's great and all to say it, but the actions that follow those words do not reflect that. The reflection on the actions say that we are not necessary, that we can be replaced, that there is nothing unique or valued in our skills.

I'm a 30 year old working in the professional field of my choice and I do not have a full time job or health benefits. I do have two fluctuating part time jobs, but teaching up to 24 credit hours just in hopes of getting paid the exact same money as a person working a normal 40 hour work week and not having to spend hundreds of hours a semester at home grading papers, is not the same.

I want to teach. I love teaching. I just don't know if this is for me because I do not fit the mold that they have.