Don't Get Angry At Me
Something is wrong with me.
Mentally, somewhere up in the grey matter that is bouncing around in my head, somewhere in the weird upbringing that is my childhood, somewhere in the great vast nothingness that is me becoming me, I've learned a really weird trait - I don't get angry.
I sort of had a temper, and I used to get angry over small-ish things, but that was mainly teenage hormones, not me, being me. Other than that, it takes some really pointed remarks from people that I actually care about to make me angry.
Kids dying in locked cars? Tragic, but I'm not angry.
School shootings? Again, tragic, but what good is my anger going to do?
Internet stupids calling me names? Annoying, but anger isn't really there.
Not getting a job even though I've gone through all of these interviews? Meh, it'll happen sooner or later, it'll happen one of these days.
Alicia leaving me with Addison? It's my kid, I can't get angry at spending time with my cute daughter.
Having to do laundry? I need clothes, they're dirty, why get upset at life?
Having to do chores? If I don't want to do them, I won't, but they need to get done.
Cooking food, being late to work, not being able to go to sleep, or anything else that people get upset or angry about - meh.
Even something that got me slightly frustrated like having my parents completely dismiss me and the degree that I have earned and the skills that I have, which is disheartening, there isn't really anger there. To get me angry there is a few, very few things that have to happen. First, you have to attack something of mine that I have to have.
Now this opens up a whole other can of worms in trying to understand my mentality, I don't have to have a lot of things. I can live without a TV, I don't need a computer, and I don't even need new clothes. I'm weird and have a twisted eternal perspective, so things are just things. A job (or lack of it) is still temporary, and money is just money. I don't really have attachments to anything I don't have anything that I yearn after, it's just temporary. What I really need is my family. You threaten my wife or my daughter and are serious about it, or if you harm them in any way, then you've got me angry. You want me to see red? Hurt them.
The only other way to get me angry is to be someone who knows me, and is somewhat close to me, and insult me. Insult my religion, insult my intelligence, insult my skill, or insult any aspect of what makes me, me. Now, this is where things have to be specific. If you're an outsider, a stranger on the internet, or someone that hasn't gotten to know what is really going on in my life, shut up and move on, you saying something to me isn't going to get me angry. But, if you've been around me for more than a while, have gotten to know me past my fake perma smile, have ever gotten to see the soft squishy center of me that I don't let out often, and then you insult me, then you'll get me angry.
Other than those things, I don't see the point of anger.
Why get angry over someone driving erratically? Why get angry about a court case that I'm timezones away from? Why get angry about a war happening thousands of miles away? Why get angry over life? It's life, things are going to come up, it's not always going to be the smoothest of trips, so why get upset over one of the bumps?
I don't know what's wrong with me, but I just don't get worked up over things, and I certainly never really get angry.
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