Saved for a Later that Will Never Happen

I'm saving this for later, which I know will never happen.

If/when I ever put out another video of me spinning fire, it's going to be a song like this -

Texas

TJC is having a hard time with getting my job in order. They've said that I have the job since I was in Texas for Samantha's graduation, but for one reason or another HR, payroll, and whoever else is in charge of this all is dragging their feet through the mud through all of this and I still don't have a position that I can guarantee is mine.

The tricky part to all of this is that I want to set up my apartment and a place to live as soon as possible. I have a month before I need to be there. A MONTH. That's scary to even think about that I only have a month before I'm living in a different state starting a new job as a full time faculty.

Today Alicia said that she wished I wasn't so happy to get this job. Or that I wasn't so happy to move. She's happy that I have a job, or not, but she's not happy that I'm happy and is upset that I'm not willing to stop being happy for her to be happy. It's confusing and I don't even get it. She's just anxious about the entire thing.

The thing that hit home for me today was a random video on Facebook of Margaret Atwood talking about writing. She said something along the lines of if you're not writing it's because you're afraid of something. I haven't written a line in almost a month. I have the entire outline done. I know what needs to happen next, but for one reason or another I keep pansying out and not writing what I know I should be writing. I'm giving excuses, and I'm giving all sorts of reasons of why I'm not finishing that novel, and I know that they're just excuses. I know that I'm coming up with the lamest most unoriginal reasons to not write, so I'm going to try to put myself responsible to this blog.

Right now, I'm at almost 70,000 words. I'm going to get out of my head, and allow myself to write an ugly baby draft. It'll be ugly. It'll need serious edits, but at least it will be out in the world. Wish me luck.

Daemons

As promised, some updates on what I've been painting lately.

First brimstones. I did a few layers of wash and dry brush and came up with this. . .

 But then I watched a few more things on youtube and it had a fairly good argument about contrast, and upping the contrast that you're working with on your models to help the details pop a bit more. I decided to give it a shot and came up with this.

I'm sort of a fan. I'm going to try playing around with it more and more on my next favorite model of all time. Then I tackled the heralds. Two heralds, one crooked on it's base and realizing that I don't care enough to fix it, PLUS a weird flaming base that I didn't know what to do with, and this is what I've got. I'm not super in love with either of them, but I do like the color fade to white on the tips of the tendrils.

So, brimstones kept me happy and taught me a bit, but then I started to tackle some color blocking and planning on this guy, and fell in love. It's a burning chariot with blue horrors riding shotgun. I've started to think about using that whole contrast thing, with the color blending that I run in just about everything I paint, and this model is going to be a fun trip.

It's going to take me a while to do all of the fire the way I want it to be done, plus the body blended the way I want it to, plus keeping the blues looking high contrast, plus doing the screamers to match all of the other screamers I have, PLUS making sure the metal looks right. It's going to be a heavy load, but just doing the color blocking today has made me fall in love with the sculpt and everything that can pull out of it.

Keeping Busy

With the real reality of my life going to be solo in Texas for a bit, I wanted to dust off this blog for a bit. This blog was always there to keep things moving in my brain while I thought things out at work. It was there for me as a place to think to myself, and write a bit, and just get stuff out there, so I'm bringing it back for my sanity.

The next few posts are there just to bring everything back up to snuff so that we can be on the same page for my time in Texas. Enjoy the updates.

Warhammer -

I'm officially done with my Thousand Sons army. Everything, and I do mean EVERYTHING that I own that belongs to the CSM/Thousand Sons armies through those ebay and craigslists finds, is finished!

It took me long enough, but they're done. Here's the Imgur hosted link, but I don't want to have to post up 65 ppictures on here, so here's the full army on view, and you can deal with things past that.

Don't you worry though, I've got more than enough plastic guys elsewhere to keep me busy painting for a lot longer. I'm currently working on some daemons, so I'll post up some pictures of things that aren't put away yet (my screamers are packed up, but I recently did some finishing touches on some pink horrors that could be worth a look).

Writing -

Since the time that I last wrote, let's talk about writing. For V-Day I published My Way To Love, and also managed to get physical copies of both My Way to Love as well as Dream Analysis. I'm now working on the one that I've been outlining for a while about man vs angelic church. Here's a few links for the Amazon products if you want to buy anything. I'll have to update those things on the blog so that you can go and see them, but for now, I'll put the links here.
https://www.amazon.com/dp/1977061664
https://www.amazon.com/dp/1976983290

To be honest, they're not that awesome, but at least it's something. I did it, and I can call it mine. I'm about 200 pages into writing about angels right now, and I'm in the icky middle part that I'm never a fan of. Luckily I have the chapters all outlined, I just have to push through it and get to the fun stuff.

TAL -

I put that on the back burner for quite some time because I just couldn't listen to it as much. I'm going to have to get back on that bus and start listening to it again because it was fun to write that.

Life -

Since I stopped writing, my mother in law lived with us, died with us, and since then Alicia has been a ball of nerves having to deal with her mother's death plus all of her material things having to be cleaned out and organized.

I got fired, hired, fired, fired again, and then fired but then potentially hired twice, almost fired before I was hired, and now I'm going for hired one more time. I know I'll be working in Texas, the big question is where in Texas I'll be working.

One job is at Collins, and is more adjunct work that I'm already doing. No bonus stuff, no job security, but it would be near Gwen and Adam, and also give some potential jobs for Alicia because for some reason she's going off the rails and wanting to not teach any more (which is SUPER weird for anyone who doesn't know her)

The other job is a full time position with benefits at TJC which is about two hours away from Gwen, in a smaller town, but it's full time! It's a progression of my job and career and I have the opportunity to do something with my career rather than just keep on doing the same thing over and over again.

The debate comes with Alicia because now is not the best time to move. I have two jobs that want me, that are willing to pay me money, but I'm not sure if I want to do either of them, because she's so scared and emotionally not ready for the change. I want to jump at the TJC job, but that's just because I think it's the best for me, and would potentially put less stress on Alicia to be the person in charge of our wellfare all of the time. But as much as I want that to happen, she's not ready to make that transition because she lieks being the work horsea nd she doesn't want to be at home either. It's a weird mix of everything. All I know is that things are going to change real soon in the next few months and I want a place to rant about them, plus show off whatever I'm working on to avoid thinking about the crazy things that I'm going through. So yay! Blog is back, hopefully. . . . no promises.