Terri - My American Life

https://www.thisamericanlife.org/radio-archives/episode/143/sentencing

I get it. I understand that drug laws are way too strict and can hurt people that are first time offenders. There's not that great of rehabilitation and we are creating a system that is a revolving door of prisoners that live in the system and don't know how to survive on their own. That sucks. I don't think that's the way it should be, and all things considering, major overhauls need to be done to the criminal system because it's screwy on way too many levels.

But,

Yes, there's a but to that statement.

But, they can keep Terri.

My wife was raised by her grandma. The person who I consider my mother-in-law is biologically speaking my grandmother-in-law. My wife's biological mother, is Terri. As long as I've known my wife, her biological mom has been in jail. I think there's been a few months or even maybe a year where she was on probation, but then landed herself back in jail, and I'm perfectly fine with her staying there.

Terri's one and only redeeming trait that she has in her life is that she gave birth to my wife. Even that she almost managed to screw up because when my wife popped out she was an addict's baby. CPA had to take my wife away from Terri because Terri was Terri and wasn't being a mother to my wife.

I don't care about Terri's drug's or criminal behavior, but if they're what keeps her in jail then I'm okay with it. What she did to my wife when she was only weeks old is uncalled for. The stupid part about it is because of her STUPID behavior in the first weeks of my wife's life, my wife has been carrying the baggage that her biological mother didn't love her, and essentially abandoned her.

Sit on that one for a second. One of the things that most people have the benefit of knowing when they were growing up is that at least their parents were there for them. In one way or another their parents were at least somewhat trying to keep them alive. Alicia, from a very young age, learned that her biological mother did not want her.

Do you know how much that screws with a person's personality and mentality? Because of that one person and her addiction to drugs, Alicia is now constantly carrying around this idea that the people who act like they love her in their lives are just focused on something else and soon er or later will leave her. Everyone in her life, starting with Terri, has left her or focused on something else besides her. That makes her loving, but also completely un-trusting of what is going on around her. I can't stand it, but at the same time, I get why she thinks that way. Prison sentencing for drug users and addicts needs to be lessened, but for the people out there that could treat their own child that poorly, they deserve to stay.

I've Got Nothing

https://www.thisamericanlife.org/radio-archives/episode/142/barbara

I've been sitting on this one for a long time. I liked the episode, but I honestly can't do anything about this from my point of view. This is one of those that is so particular and set for a particular author, that I can't touch it. The entire episode is based around one black single mom who lives in the inner-city. I'm sorry, but I'm the exact opposite of that. As a married, white, male, who lives in the suburbs of the suburbs I can't do it. I've tried. I've been thinking about it in the back of my mind on and off for way too long at this point I've got to move on. I can't twist this into anything else. The episode was specific to one individual. I'm not that individual. That means I don't have anything to twist or add on to it.